MMO Clichés: Repetitive Games To Break The Day
By Kei Beneza (dividelife), OnRPG Journalist
Ever have the feeling that MMOs are starting to get mundane? Constantly repeating scenarios and plots with only the main characters that differ? Yeah, today we’re going to tackle the clichés of MMO history. Here we will note everything that most MMOs consider normal and mandatory (and I’m not even talking about gameplay ). Repetitive content is one thing, but there are other things that most MMOs tend to pass down to their descendants. Let’s check it out, shall we?
WarHammer Online is even called WAR!
1). It’s all about WAR
It’s always and will always be about WAR! Yes, that’s right! War! This theme is commonly whored by most MMOs. Maybe it’s because war is such an easy concept to pursue, especially since the developers probably don’t know what to do with millions of players, except by taking them in a remote arena for wanton murder. There are a lot of concepts to pursue and yet almost 80% (yes that’s just my estimate) of the MMOs we play are based on war. Whether it’s in outer space, another galaxy, a nightmare realm, a long forgotten forest, or a medieval setting, you can bet your arse that these races are bound to go PVP. Some games even take the word WAR and attached it to their title (won’t mention any lol). Maybe it somehow proves that they are the most WAR-ish game out there.
2). The Old Gods (or something like that)
Ever had the time to read the background story in your favorite MMO’s? Maybe it’s just me, but why does it seem like everything is the work of some Old God (or Old GODS, in some cases)? I get it, they want to add the spiritual factor with the world being made by a group of almighty beings who end up fighting each other, separating the land into different regions, and thus your story begins-sound familiar? I thought so. Some actually try to change Gods into dragons to get an original feel, but it’s easy to see through that cheap disguise.
Old gods, more war. Yawn.
3). The Elves are always cooler
Are we humans such wusses when it comes to fashion? The Elves seem to have the flashy dresses and the coolest costumes. When will we ever out-class these bunny eared humanoids? Yes, I’m sure you have noticed that Elves tend to dress splendidly compared to us humans. Dark Elves (if featured) are also twice as stylish compared to Elves as they are to humans. I suppose the saying “I’m only Human” can’t be applied to elves and dark elves as they seem to be living the good life in terms ofkit.
4). The small ones are always the smart ones
Take it as it is! Ever wondered why the dwarves in Lineage 2 get to ride humungous robots while Dark Elves roam around half naked (Don’t even get me started with Orcs)? Why do Bellatos get the huge and formidable MAU while Coras/Corites stick with their thongs? My points exactly. You must always be small to think big in the world of MMOs. Goblin Tinkerers, Dwarven Engineers, Gnome Alchemists <_<, need I say more? I can understand they needed to tweak the balance between brains and brawn, but do they really have to give all the smart stuff to the small ones? Inconceivable!
I may be short, but my latest device will trash you in a second.
5). If there’s a Paladin (or anything close to it), RUN!
Vit Knights, Crusaders, Paladins, Holy tanks, the condom class. One thing about these characters is that they have too much protection to actually get hit. I’ve been meaning to ask-”What’s with the whole HOLY bias?”. Holy heals, Dark magic does damage. Dark magic can heal but only upon inflicting pain, which is rather useless when dealing with the Paladins. Paladins are high-tier characters in almost any MMO. I know I’m bitter about it, but wouldn’t anyone be (except for the pallies themselves though)? If there’s a Paladin, RUN!
6). Different names, same thing
“Hello Shadow Dancer! I’m a rogue! I can attack fast and vanish afterwards!” “What a coincidence! Me too!”
One thing that makes MMOs interesting is their array of classes. For some, more classes mean a better game. It’s a cheap trick pursued by most MMO developers really. It’s like-”Let’s not feature Mages here! A lot of MMOs seem to have them!” “All right! Let’s add an ELEMENTALIST!”. From Warlock to Necromancer, from Rogues to Assassins, Warriors to Berserker, they’re all the same.
7). Hot female characters = dude
Please tell me you noticed. Anyway, more than 60% of the females in the game are guys. There are some pointers to verify if you’re talking to an actual chick though.
How to tell if your MMO chick is a dude
1). If the character seems to be sexier than the rest, it’s more likely to be a dude
2). Although it contradicts my first statement, Super ugly girl characters like Orc or Dwarven women are also dudes. Real girls only respect 5 races: Elves, Dark elves, Blood elves, High Elves and Night elves. If there are prettier races in the game, then you bet yer arse they’d pick that.
3). Chicks are OC with Quests, Dudes are OC with PVP
8). It’s always the Healer’s fault
“We wiped again”
“I blame healer”
“I blame healer”
“I blame healer”
“I blame healer”
Even if it’s not really their fault to begin with, it will always be the healer’s fault. It’s like an automatic trial every time you do dungeons and instances. This is perhaps the reason why it’s a dying class no pun intended… LOL.
9). The good for nothing leader
I’m sure you guys are familiar with your race leaders. Lothan the 3rd, Khorne, The Warrior Emperor, Varian Wrynn, etc-cool aren’t they? No matter what you do, you will always be nothing compared to them. They have legendary skills, you have your +7 lance that won’t even scratch them. The thing here is, regardless of how powerful these race leaders are, the only thing they will EVER do is stand in the corner of your base, waiting for progress. Jesus! We would have won this war by now if you guys just exerted a little more effort instead of standing there all proud and stuff.
10). The best crafters and tinkers (NPCs) always lack materials to work with
“Hello friend! It seems that I’m fresh out of Dragon scales to make my Uber weapon! Can you go to Cryshal Tirith and kill a Big Red Dragon for me?”
And you thought your racial leaders were incompetent. It’s the same scenario is almost every MMO. If there’s a quest, you can bet that there’s a lonely merchant out there looking for someone to bring him more materials. The funny part is that he only asks for one per character! Seriously, why not just let one character do all the work so everyone can rest easy? That’s almost as bad as the secret admirer who’s too chicken to deliver his love letter (well at least he pays you to deliver it).
And there you have it! It would really be awesome for a game to remove us from this mundane life, but for a game to actually become mundane? They seriously need something new. Hope you guys enjoyed it.