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C~Dub · 12-07-2008, 04:11 AM

Ok, I've been writing a song that is based off of a jazzy-hard rock bassline, so bear with me. This is the rough draft and, hopefully, with some CC I'll be able to make a good song. Here goes.

Is This Entire World High? - Chris Wallan

I knew this guy once,
Name was Stevie,
He like smoke the,
LSD
That's why we called him,
Mr. Stevie
Until. He just. Dropped dead.

[Chorus]
Don't know why.
Don't know why.
Why this entire world is high.
Don't know why.
Don't know why.
Is this entire world high?

[Bass solo]

I knew this guy once,
Name was Jacko,
He was a cracko.
Like the smacko.
That's why we called him,
Mr. Jacko,
Until. He just. Dropped Dead.

[Chorus]
Don't know why.
Don't know why.
Why this entire world is high.
Don't know why.
Don't know why.
Is this entire world high?

[2nd bass solo]

I knew this guy once,
Name was Hong,
He was hitter,
Of many bongs.
That's why we called him,
Mr. Hong,
Until. He just. Dropped Dead.

[Chorus]
Don't know why.
Don't know why.
Why this entire world is high.
Don't know why.
Don't know why.
Is this entire world high?

[Drum/Bass finisher]

Ok, what did you think and how can improve on it?

Z0MBiE · 12-07-2008, 04:44 AM

i knew this guy once
name was c~dub
he made threads
big gay threads
that's why we called him,
mr. c~nub,
until. he just. cried.

C~Dub · 12-07-2008, 04:48 AM

Seriously dude, if you don't have any constructive criticism to give, please don't post.

Z0MBiE · 12-07-2008, 04:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by C~Dub

Seriously dude, if you don't have any constructive criticism to give, please don't post.

i just gave you the best verse ever.

don't be sore.

C~Dub · 12-07-2008, 04:53 AM

C'mon, what'd you really think of the song?

Q_switch_css · 12-07-2008, 04:54 AM

cant really say anything until you post like a audio or video of the song.

xXTraitorXx · 12-07-2008, 04:54 AM

The lyrics made me smirk a little thats all I can say until I would hear it.

C~Dub · 12-07-2008, 04:55 AM

I don't exactly have the solos down yet, so I'm going to wait and record it once I'm done with the solos.

Z0MBiE · 12-07-2008, 04:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by C~Dub

C'mon, what'd you really think of the song?

honestly, it looks like something i would of wrote when i was 15 and thought drugs were funny and cool.

now i just keep quiet and eat them instead.

Kashis · 12-07-2008, 05:00 AM

The hook in truth is ok (not really great)...but your verses are horrible. maybe you should have a friend write them for you? Perhaps the entire song would be better.

12-07-2008, 04:11 AM	#1 (permalink)
C~Dub Bladin's Sword Sharpener Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 1,139 Reputation: 22	A Song I've Been Writing Ok, I've been writing a song that is based off of a jazzy-hard rock bassline, so bear with me. This is the rough draft and, hopefully, with some CC I'll be able to make a good song. Here goes. Is This Entire World High? - Chris Wallan I knew this guy once, Name was Stevie, He like smoke the, LSD That's why we called him, Mr. Stevie Until. He just. Dropped dead. [Chorus] Don't know why. Don't know why. Why this entire world is high. Don't know why. Don't know why. Is this entire world high? [Bass solo] I knew this guy once, Name was Jacko, He was a cracko. Like the smacko. That's why we called him, Mr. Jacko, Until. He just. Dropped Dead. [Chorus] Don't know why. Don't know why. Why this entire world is high. Don't know why. Don't know why. Is this entire world high? [2nd bass solo] I knew this guy once, Name was Hong, He was hitter, Of many bongs. That's why we called him, Mr. Hong, Until. He just. Dropped Dead. [Chorus] Don't know why. Don't know why. Why this entire world is high. Don't know why. Don't know why. Is this entire world high? [Drum/Bass finisher] Ok, what did you think and how can improve on it? __________________

12-07-2008, 04:48 AM	#3 (permalink)
C~Dub Bladin's Sword Sharpener Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 1,139 Reputation: 22	Seriously dude, if you don't have any constructive criticism to give, please don't post. __________________

12-07-2008, 04:53 AM	#5 (permalink)
C~Dub Bladin's Sword Sharpener Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 1,139 Reputation: 22	C'mon, what'd you really think of the song? __________________

12-07-2008, 04:54 AM	#6 (permalink)
Q_switch_css OnRPG Elite Member! Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: LonG ISLAND Posts: 4,852 Reputation: 60	cant really say anything until you post like a audio or video of the song. __________________ bopiteedoo

12-07-2008, 04:55 AM	#8 (permalink)
C~Dub Bladin's Sword Sharpener Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 1,139 Reputation: 22	I don't exactly have the solos down yet, so I'm going to wait and record it once I'm done with the solos. __________________

12-07-2008, 04:44 AM	#2 (permalink)
Z0MBiE Banned Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 3,884 Reputation: 221	i knew this guy once name was c~dub he made threads big gay threads that's why we called him, mr. c~nub, until. he just. cried.

12-07-2008, 04:54 AM	#7 (permalink)
xXTraitorXx Murxidon's Maid Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Take off your pants and jack-et Posts: 2,116 Reputation: 35	The lyrics made me smirk a little thats all I can say until I would hear it.

12-07-2008, 05:00 AM	#10 (permalink)
Kashis OnRPG Elite Member! Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Plainfield, New Jersey Posts: 5,021 Reputation: 150	The hook in truth is ok (not really great)...but your verses are horrible. maybe you should have a friend write them for you? Perhaps the entire song would be better. __________________ "Rules do not exist to bind you, they exist so you may know your freedoms" "Death is blind. It comes for all souls regardless of their worth (or lack thereof)." Be careful of what you say, tomorrow or today, for the words you now speak, may become the poison your enemies later seek; truth. The only difference between a good idea and a bad idea is presentation. http://myanimelist.net/animelist/Kashis

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