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egoodie · 01-20-2009, 03:42 PM

when i was young i use to get high and cut school now i look back on my life and dam i was fool life is no game one wrong turn and is all down the drain my mother use to tell me the same but i never listen now im stuck in a resturant watchin dishes in the kitchen for a paycheck thats enough for me to get by enough for me to buy dime so i can get high and get away from the problems in my life and im the one to blame for this but the one thing i love about my life is waking up to a kiss from my wife she is the reason why i keep my head up because she been with me for a whyle dispite my ****ed up life and for that ill do anything to see her smile and i would not want anybody else to be the mother of my child.

I hope u like my poem.

iRetarded · 01-20-2009, 03:44 PM

Be better if you type it in poem...format?? So we know where each line..stop?

egoodie · 01-20-2009, 03:52 PM

well this the first poem i ever wrote.

TheWiseGuy · 01-20-2009, 04:16 PM

its more like a rap than a poem....as a song itll be a pretty dope verse....as a poem its not really all that...if youre aiming for poetry you gotta write things thatll make people think hard..gotta use personification analogies etc etc

MariaMariaaa · 01-20-2009, 05:38 PM

that was so bad...

Jammart · 01-20-2009, 05:50 PM

We should so make a thread to share poetry in c:!

kait0s · 01-20-2009, 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jammart

We should so make a thread to share poetry in c:!

Would be a good idea i think.

not just poems but creative writing in general.

Short stories, poems, ect..

Quote:

Originally Posted by DuhRONz

that was so beautiful...

Hahahahaaasd*FIXED*asdasd

Jammart · 01-20-2009, 05:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kait0s

Would be a good idea i think.

not just poems but creative writing in general.

Short stories, poems, ect..

Imagine a whole section dedicated to it :].

Oo. I will bug Rox when she is no longer sick.

Ayabi · 01-20-2009, 05:54 PM

It wasn't bad...just unoriginal. Keep on writing though !

Also, **** yeah, 1900 posts.

kait0s · 01-20-2009, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jammart

Imagine a whole section dedicated to it :].

Oo. I will bug Rox when she is no longer sick.

Yeah sounds great.

I myself love to write &i love to share it.

I feel the same way about reading other peoples stuffzZ

To see how they view life. Their Opinions. What was it that hurt them. What are they afraid of. Did they learn from their mistakes.

Whats in their/your mind =/

01-20-2009, 03:42 PM	#1 (permalink)
egoodie Holy Hand Grenade Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: the hiehgtz Posts: 767 Reputation: 16	A poem when i was young i use to get high and cut school now i look back on my life and dam i was fool life is no game one wrong turn and is all down the drain my mother use to tell me the same but i never listen now im stuck in a resturant watchin dishes in the kitchen for a paycheck thats enough for me to get by enough for me to buy dime so i can get high and get away from the problems in my life and im the one to blame for this but the one thing i love about my life is waking up to a kiss from my wife she is the reason why i keep my head up because she been with me for a whyle dispite my ****ed up life and for that ill do anything to see her smile and i would not want anybody else to be the mother of my child. I hope u like my poem.

01-20-2009, 04:16 PM	#4 (permalink)
TheWiseGuy OnRPG Elite Member! Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Onrpg Posts: 4,649 Reputation: 82	its more like a rap than a poem....as a song itll be a pretty dope verse....as a poem its not really all that...if youre aiming for poetry you gotta write things thatll make people think hard..gotta use personification analogies etc etc __________________

01-20-2009, 05:38 PM	#5 (permalink)
MariaMariaaa Power_Gamer_6's Pick Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: a spanish harlem Posts: 2,406 Reputation: 76	that was so bad... __________________

01-20-2009, 05:54 PM	#9 (permalink)
Ayabi Manic's Maniacal Machine Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Canada Posts: 1,880 Reputation: 46	It wasn't bad...just unoriginal. Keep on writing though ! Also, ** yeah, 1900 posts. __________________ Currently Playing :** -------------------------- Mmo's ~ - None. (.__. -------------------------- Console ~ - Titan Quest [PC] // [Active] - Monster Hunter Freedom: Unite [PsP] // [Active] --------------------------

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01-20-2009, 03:44 PM	#2 (permalink)
iRetarded Banned Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 423 Reputation: 13	Be better if you type it in poem...format?? So we know where each line..stop?

01-20-2009, 03:52 PM	#3 (permalink)
egoodie Holy Hand Grenade Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: the hiehgtz Posts: 767 Reputation: 16	well this the first poem i ever wrote.