First and foremost thanks so much for your guys' replies. Im glad that it was able to stay mature and actually informative so far, which is a lot more then I can say for some of the pasts threads Ive read (was worried itd be blown out of proportion).
Secondly, Im sorry I had to leave yesterday, I got called out to assist another county with a structure fire, then another after that (arson we think), then as the roads slicked up here we had a few car accidents, and a car fire. I got no sleep last night, and work sucks right now heh. And yes, I do know about cigarette fires
, they happen. Anyway, now thats cleared up...
To fill up some blanks:
Boyfriend: I was actually in the process of asking her out sometime soon, which is why I have been getting closer to her and being her friend. Whats a relationship if you arent friends too? I think she kinda got that hint as well and could be more a reason she opened up to me about this.
Her family: From what I know, her dad is an ex-Navy guy. Her moms and RN. As far as I know her parents never physically abused her. Verbally is another story but she tells me shes normally able to just laugh it off and move on. In my opinion, and this is only based on a few times of being around her family, they seem to be pretty good on taking care of their daughter. They are the ones that had stuck her in counseling the first time obviously and she hated them for it, and now wishes she woulda kept going.
I talked with her more about this last night when I actually had some downtime. She told me that shes going to finish up the rest of this year of schooling, and if shes not able to personally control the cutting and OD'ing then they will go ahead and put her back into a counseling session, and most likely send her somewhere to get some help. I can understand that and Im going to try my best to help her stop on her own since I have a little more grasp of the situation.
Another story for you guys if you will. When we were first talking, one of the first things that she said to me was "if you want it, your not getting it." Obviously she was talking about me getting some from her. It took me about a week to actually convince her that isnt what I wanted from her, and that I wasnt like most of the guys out in the world that just want sex then leave. And after about 3 months Ive more then proved that to her. Anyway, I asked her maybe a month and a half ago if she still thought I was like most guys. She said no. I said whats different. She told me, "you dont hit me". Of course then I was a little taken back by that, kinda shocked, very angry, because this girl is gorgeous and I couldnt fathom why anyone would want to hurt or hit her. Which brings me back to last night. I was asking her to try and help explain to me what she was thinking and what reasons she had, and she started to bring up her childhood years. All that I got from her was that she had been raped as a child, and beaten, repeatedly. So I understood more of why she did it THEN, but still not so much as why she still does it NOW. That was all I was able to get because I ended up getting called out for a car fire and had to leave.
Someone mentioned that is habit. Im starting to agree with the person that posted that. She always says she doesnt know why she does it, she just does. Im thinking its because she got into a groove of cutting herself that it just became habit. The OD part I think is a little more complicated. Her mom is an RN, so she obviously knows about medicines. And I guess when shes sick her mom almost ODs her with medication, like any nurse/doctor does when youre taking medicines. And thats probably a cause as well.
There are a lot of things that I really dont understand about this girl, but Im willing to help her though as much of it as I can and she knows this. I told her straight up that I would come in the middle of the night and talk to her if she needed it, and that she could absolutely call me at any time, day night, at work, whatever, unless Im at a call obviously cause im just a little more preoccupied then heh. But Im next to her in whatever actions shes going to take, and I tell her that everytime I talk to her. I hope that I can eventually through time help her out, and have a good relationship with her maybe. I more then appreciate all of your help in trying to help me understand this situation, you have helped more then you may realize, and I thank you all for it!