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Kleenex3

Abortion Final Draft
What is Abortion? Abortion is the removal of the fetus or the Embryo. There are different forms of Abortion such as Spontaneous abortion, Induced Abortion, therapeutic Abortion and Elective Abortion. Spontaneous Abortion is an abortion for Miscarriages. Indueced Abortion are cause by human actions. Therapeutic Abortion are done to save the women's life or to kill the fetus that would late be born with a Congential disorder. Elective Abortion is when The woman chooses the Abortion for whatever reasons. Evidence will be use to keep Abortion legal and to disagree whatever point the prosecutor may have. &nbs p;
Is human life that valuable, it has to be preserve at all cost? Over population is already happening all over the world. Abortion can keep the population lower and help decrease the overall population. A lot of countries such as Canada, U.S, Russia, China and most of Europe are using Abortion as a birth control method. We have seen what overpopulation has done in the past, and we must do everything we can to reduce the chances. "The planet is overpopulated. The population keeps growing. Overpopulation is our biggest threat to this planet and will be the issue of the 21st century"( Marc Perkel). Marc has made an amazing point. Think about global warming. How will be ever have enough food, resources and supplies for global warming? Overpopulation might not be a big issue today, but the future is uncertain. We must do everything we can to prevent threats to the human race. With abortion, we can keep our population lower and also prepare for Global Warming.
Now the most controversial issue that is being discuss is that Abortion is murder. Many Religious reasons have us thinking that Abortion is wrong or is it ummoral. Those are your religious opinions not mine. " I am a free person in a free society and I have the right to not have to have your religion imposed on my life. America was founded by people who were escaping religious oppression and I am opposed to any form of state imposed religious beliefs."- Marc. Another expert Quote from Marc. Religion should not entangle a person's life, not now, not ever. If you ever consider making a law that will ban abortion outright then what will you think of first? Religion or Argument. Will you let a belief cloud your judgement of reason. For example, in the bible it was said that " God created the heavens and the earth. In scientific theory, the big bang was what made up the universe. Now there is a contradiction. How can the big bang theory and god be related? Just like how can a chemistry book and a bible be related. Religion must not be imposed so harsly that it might have a direct conflict with your judement.



Can you guys please give me some suggestions? I need more arguments for my essay.

Athias

You have a lot of grammatical/spelling errors. So fix those first.

And the 3rd paragraph looks like you're making two separate points. So you may want to split that into two paragraphs. Maybe do one about how it can be murder, and another about how it goes against religion.

From what I can see, your format is:

intro/thesis
body paragraph(explains why abortion is good)
concession paragraph (explains why abortion is bad)

So you just need one last paragraph on why abortion can be good. But too bad I can't think of any. You should just do the paper over and make it about how abortion is bad. Which should only take a minute anyways. It should look something like this:

What is Abortion? Abortion is the removal of the fetus or the Embryo. There are different forms of Abortion such as Spontaneous abortion, Induced Abortion, therapeutic Abortion and Elective Abortion. Spontaneous Abortion is an abortion for Miscarriages. Indueced Abortion are cause by human actions. Therapeutic Abortion are done to save the women's life or to kill the fetus that would late be born with a Congential disorder. [insert thesis about how abortion is bad]

[paragraph about how it goes against religion]

Is human life that valuable, it has to be preserve at all cost? Over population is already happening all over the world. Abortion can keep the population lower and help decrease the overall population. A lot of countries such as Canada, U.S, Russia, China and most of Europe are using Abortion as a birth control method. We have seen what overpopulation has done in the past, and we must do everything we can to reduce the chances. "The planet is overpopulated. The population keeps growing. Overpopulation is our biggest threat to this planet and will be the issue of the 21st century"( Marc Perkel). Marc has made an amazing point. Think about global warming. How will be ever have enough food, resources and supplies for global warming? Overpopulation might not be a big issue today, but the future is uncertain. We must do everything we can to prevent threats to the human race. With abortion, we can keep our population lower and also prepare for Global Warming.

[paragraph about how it's murder]

[conclusion, restate your opinion, etc...]

If you don't understand a part that I said, then just ask. I'm taking two English classes at once. So I have to do a lot of essays. <.<

Kleenex3

Can you give me an argument?
So one last paragraph on how abortion can be good and one conclusion paragraph?

Oisterboy

Conclusion:

In summation, abortion is a topic full of controversy. There are various pros and cons to the womans health, as well as many moral issues. No matter what the laws become, abortion will be a sticky topic in every state. Depending upon a persons religious beliefs and living circumstances...

Why am I writing someone elses essay? Lol.

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Deimos

i have no idea what grade you are in so im going to make assumptions(i know)

this is a decent essay, its to the point and concise, id be surprised if it failed. probably the biggest problem is on the grammatical side, i pointed out some of the errors but im sure youve already done that by now.

the arguments you have already made are enough, but they are too breif, you need to expand on them further and try to use examples rather than just stating something.

certain things can be assumed in essays, for most years of schooling you can get away with saying "ww1, which started in 1914" because you can assume everyone knows this. but statements like "in bangladesh the largest growth in birth to death ratio was in 1973" you need proof.

good essay though.

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Ronin

Please leave the global warming+Overpopulation out of this.

I would not even call that fighting symptoms only (which is always no way to cure the problem, but just to conceal it), as it is no way influential...

Global warming and Overpopulation has something to do with greed, not with conflicting morals.

(Your aproach to use it to satisfie abortion in the US is also inhuman concerning those people who are suffering from overpopulation and environmental issues. Your agruments are as well usable for giving a "moral" fndament for genocide...
That Overpopulation and Polution exists, doesnt link it to abortion and your moralic implications are dangerous.)

Concerning relgion:
The point why religion had now influence into the early constitutional phase of the US was that many diffrent blieves (mostly christian sects) need to have ways to coexist peacfully in society. If you say that it was aiming on giving you the freedom of choice what religion or you want to believe in or, if you even want to be religious, you are confusing the effect with the cause. Being atheist in those days and times, would have made you an outcast in nearly all parts of society.

If you say, that religious arguments are usually that its murder, you are making a generalisation.

Another point I noticed, that in the first paragraph you tell us the diffrent kinds of abortion; This division is not present in the argumentative part. By doing this you leave all important moralic arguments out, and stay with general abd blury ones.

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I would say your essay probably derivates from what your discussions and preperations in class where. I hope some of my critiqe-points are constructive for your work.

The arguments that are in my oppinion more important are:
Medical reasons.
Womens rights to choose (under certain circumstances), which can be derivated from basic human rights and are a part of it.
The states moralic duty to protet every citicen (the mother and the baby, equaly whatever believers), which renders religious protests (personal general oppinions, which do not aply to others situations) obsolete and its duty to regulate the life of the individual as few as possible.

Good luck.

Attila

You have 3 paragraphs in this, no thesis statement, no conclusion and your arguments are very weird. My AP English teacher would murder you.

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Deimos

he has 3 paragraphs, no thesis statement, no conlusion and his arguments are very weird.

i think you can do what i did and assume.

no need to go bashing him on how much better you are or how bad is essay is compared to other standards.

did you see me railing against him for not producing a 3rd year uni standard peice of work? no. hes asking for help, not criticism.

although, asking for help with essay writing on a gaming forum... but im not going into that.

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Attila

I'm not bashing or saying that I am better. I'm just telling him what the best standards are because if he follows them, he WILL do good.

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Rendascus

Topic sentance. Stay on topic. Explain. Closing Sentence. Logical order. Revise.

Bye.