haseo7

He walked wouned from fighting his four paws were cut up his back was covered in blood infact his whole body was. As he walked he droped in the water. He dove down then back up. As he got out of the water the wolf started to shake the water off his body. He heard a few giggles infront of him when he looked up he saw. A little girl about 5 or 6. She had a green shirt with light blue jeans. Her hair was dirtly blond, Eyes where blue around but hazel in the middle if you stared at her you would of thought she was a evil little girl. He started to walk then she lowerd a little to whisper. "Their was a girl at the door. So i let her in then i came to find you"....The wolf then yelled. "You let her in i told you. Not to let no one know you are their." The little girl just said. "Im sorry i just got worried that you wouldnt....come back." The wolf then mutter. "You know well that i would always come back for you no matter what. You are my daughter im supposed to protect you..." She just bit her bottem lip hard. As they finaly got to the house she slowly climbed down his back. The girl came out to the back and was shocked to see a little girl. With a big giant wolf that had a little blood. She just fell to the ground almost fainted in shock. The girl went to her to help her up. But the women just hissed at her. In a blink of the eye her throat was between the wolfs jaws ready to kill her. His eyes widen her throat was free from the sharp fangs. But she didn't know why he spared her. The wolf looked at the girl on the ground and said. "Im Axel." The women just screamed. " Oh my gosh a talking wolf." His hands were together then his fur became skin. His snout became a mouth and a face. As his body fell ot the ground the little girl wraped im up. In a blanket. His eyes changed to light blue his wings from his back wraped his body as the blanket fell to the ground. The little girl picked it up and placed it over her and the other girl as he went in side to change. The little girl took the blanket that was covering her and the lady and folded it up. She looked up in the sky and softly sighed. The young lady then said. "My name is Kat." The little girl softly muttered. " The name is kate not katie." The door slamed from behind both girls looked and saw. The young man in a pair of blue jeans and a black T shirt. Kate just laughed and smiled. He then looked at her with a small grin. His wings spreaded out wide slowly flaping as dust came from the ground and in to the air with each flap of the wing. The little girl waved bye and said. "dont fly to far or il come and find you." He just smiled and noded he then flew off with a wave bye. So she thinks she can find me he thought we will see little cous. As the time passed the little girl passed wondering when he will ever be back. The little girl then stomped her foot on the ground and said. "That's it he has been gone to long im going to find him". As she walked to the door she looked out side. The storm came sooner then she thought. She then opend the door a flash of lighting struck the sky. The little girl jumped back screaming saying. "where are you Axel im so scared." Tears came rolling doen her face. Wings covered her she could feel the warmth of the wings and a body. She knew he was behind her holding her close. As the crying stoped so did the rain. Axel then picked up the little girl and walked upstairs then he put her to bed and came back down. He looked at Kat who was sitting on the sofa falling asleep. He walked to the sofa gently picked her up and placed her in the master bed room then as he walkeed out the room he softly shuted the door closed. He walked out the back door and sat in the grass. The moon shined down leting him see everything in front of him. Little foot steps walked across the grass as Axel turned around to see who it was he just smiled. Picking the girl up by her waist. He set her down in his lap and held her tight. She just giggled and laughed as he started tickling her. More laughs and more tickling went on when he was done tickling her he held her high in the air. As the wind blew the little girl felt like she had wings just like her cousin. Axel then put kate in his arms and walked in the house closing the door behind him.

Marineking

This is a very interesting story, there are a few point you should consider...

First of all, while the story may be interesting, the writing really needs help. I hate to be a grammar Nazi, but even the best of stories is ruined if it is written poorly. I suggest taking English lessons and at the very least learning proper punctuation.

Second, this is a the roleplay section, and meant solely for structured roleplays that multiple people take part in. If that was your goal from the start, then I suggest you ad a preface, detailing the rules of the RP and how other characters will fit in.

I'll give you a few days to fix this, but if you don't, then I'm going to have to lock this as spam.

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shadowsworn

((I give you credit for having a kickass name for your RP))

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lokuri

((OOC: Yeah, it was a bit hard to read with all the grammar errors. Also, you should make character sheets for each character to help people understand and a small summary of the time, place, etc.

That should get more people to read this

Also, character sheets for how the character should be like :o))

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haseo7

look dude chill.... im in english class and i learning and its not spam ok and i dont know how to role play ok so chill.

Paladinn

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lokuri

((OOC: Are you referring to me or Marineking, Moderator ?

No one is trying to upset you, just change it up a bit before they lock this

Perhaps using some kind of writing program (like Word, but if you do not have it...) with a correcting feature (like abc check) to check for spelling mistakes and what not. If you want, I can edit it for you, and you can repost it in a style that is like a RP.

Also, if you do not know how a RP is suppose to be, read through some of the many here first e.e just a tip...please do not take it as an insult ._.;; ))

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Marineking

Alright, I'm afraid I'm going to have to lock this. It's just complete spam now. Sorry, but next time read the stickies before you post.

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