Well guys/ladies/Trannys.... Today my friend asked what to do about low sperm count... I didnt know what to tell, so i said what came to mind "eat more vitamins XD" anyone know the actual way to increase it? for the next time somone asks me (if anyone ever does) i will know the right thing to say. Iam guessing he was asking because he has a low sperm count ionno, but i hope hes not eating vitamins pills like skittles.

anyways....

Thanks, for reading my super duper awkward thread!

Yeah, this is pretty awkward.

Uhm. I really don't know. I don't have a witty remark or anything. I'm just.... speachless....

No sex, no alcohol.
Alcohol includes beer.

Also lots of excersize and there's special sperm supplements.

Watching According to Jim helps, fuck yeah.

Check his face for eye contact and expression next time. Maybe he's too nervous to tell you that he beats the meat on a daily basis.

Having sex with Serix is the best way to increase sperm count....


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I should know.

Call him a pussy then ejaculate into his face. That'll show him to open up to you.

Call him a pussy then ejaculate into his face. That'll show him to open up to you.

subtle and to the point as always











continue

Call him a pussy then ejaculate into his face. That'll show him to open up to you.

That'a boy.

Tell him to drink water, and lots of it. Also tell him to take lots of supplements (but watch it, too much of the same vitamin is bad for your health).

How would you know about having a low sperm count anyway?...

Do you take out a microscope and count it? lol.

Tell him not to wear any pants that are tight around the crotch.

what gives you a low sperm count, besides tight pants and using a laptop all day

Practice makes perfect.

Dont wear girls underware on daily basis.
Dont ride a bike, ever.
Dont do any kind of "substance".
Avoid any kind of seafood.
Do consider to have your vasectomy reverted.
Keep a save distance to everything that might radiate energetic waves (eg. microwave, mobile, civilisation).
Find your personal wank-rythm, "just as much as feels good". (more is actualy better than to little)

Dont wear girls underware on daily basis.
Dont ride a bike, ever.
Dont do any kind of "substance".
Find your personal wank-rythm, "just as much as feels good".

from the ages of 10 - 13 i rode my bike everyday so much that i gave myself saddle rash..... am i impotent now????? thats just an urban myth yeah?

How would you know about having a low sperm count anyway?...

Do you take out a microscope and count it? lol.

Yeah, his friend asked him a really stupid question so I'm figuring it's a joke or just a weird fetish his friend has. The only way you could know you have a low sperm count is if your doctor took a sample and told you, then that doctor could tell you ways to improve the sperm count I suppose. So you wouldn't have to ask a friend that doesn't know. >>

tell him to stop doing the dew and stop drinking mountain dew

from the ages of 10 - 13 i rode my bike everyday so much that i gave myself saddle rash..... am i impotent now????? thats just an urban myth yeah?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bicycle_saddle#Crotch_pressure

I was lieing thoug, you either get erectile dysfunction from it or nothing. It doesnt kill your sperm.

I heard Mountain Dew decreases your sperm count. Not sure since I heard this from my bro :/.

Wanking Decreases your Mojo Juice? LOL thats prob why hes low....i havnt heard him get any ass....EVER...he tries though lol

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bicycle_saddle#Crotch_pressure

I was lieing thoug, you either get erectile dysfunction from it or nothing. It doesnt kill your sperm.

ahhhh fecking hell

now im worried

Wanking Decreases your Mojo Juice?

Thats a lie, spread by Christians.

Thats a lie, spread by Christians.

lol wow...what a weird thread...WHo the fux made it? :p

Thats a lie, spread by Christians.

Neverthless, wanking regularly isn't something to be proud of. Christian or not.

This sorta reminds me of that family guy episode.

"I drank like 6 gallons of water today so im ready to burst"...

Neverthless, wanking regularly isn't something to be proud of. Christian or not.

Is having sex something to be proud off?

I dont think those measurments aply.

Oh, not having sex and not wanking, is that something ot be proud off?

Grow up, lol

I bet, Sadam was asked on the heavens gate: ok, and did you WANK to it?

Wanking Decreases your Mojo Juice? LOL thats prob why hes low....i havnt heard him get any ass....EVER...he tries though lol

thats crap, because having sex regularly doesnt do that, and thats the same thing biologically

Is having sex something to be proud of?

I dont think those measurments aply.

I'm clueless to your connection.

Grow up? Who the fuck are you? I didn't say wanking wasn't something that most if not all guys do, I just said I wouldn't be PROUD (HEY GUYS I JUST WANKED TWO TIMES WITHIN 30 MINS) of wanking. Go spout your bullshit somewhere else, righteous son of a bitch.

This sorta reminds me of that family guy episode.

"I drank like 6 gallons of water today so im ready to burst"...

haha yeh i would be too

Grow up? Who the fuck are you? I didn't say wanking wasn't something that most if not all guys do, I just said I wouldn't be PROUD (HEY GUYS I JUST WANKED TWO TIMES WITHIN 30 MINS) of wanking. Go spout your bullshit somewhere else, righteous son of a bitch.

hey man, that edit was a bit over the top

I'm clueless to your connection.

Grow up? Who the fuck are you? I didn't say wanking wasn't something that most if not all guys do, I just said I wouldn't be PROUD (HEY GUYS I JUST WANKED TWO TIMES WITHIN 30 MINS) of wanking. Go spout your bullshit somewhere else, righteous son of a bitch.

Lmao, loosen up a little or you might end up as being 75 years old, alone and gay.

(I dont feel sorry for saying what I do, what did you expect to find when clicking this topics title, dummy.)

hey man, that edit was a bit over the top

I'm tired of his know-it-all attitude. And I couldn't think of what to say after righteous lol. -_- Sorry

I apologize Ronin, really, I shouldn't have typed that. Now that Deimos has me quoted I can't take it off though.

Lmao, loosen up a little or you might end up as being 75 years old, alone and gay.Actually, being alone and never having screwed a guy or gal wouldn't make me gay or in the closet. It just shows I'm a loner and could give less of a shit if I died without having sex. It's easy in this day and age where girls toss it around, all it takes is being a guy that fakes interest. I know how to play the game. I just refuse to because I have a little bit more pride than that and I refuse to play people out of selfishness. I don't feel the need to prove my manhood to someone online, though I'll assure you I know of my sexual orientation and you are off quite a bit.

hey man, that edit was a bit over the top

LOL AND THIS IS COMING FROM YOU?!?!!! XD

@AbysmalGuilt:
Do you know of the Socratic method? It is said that Socrates, with the rigth question was able to have anyone agree to him, because he was as he said looking for the truth, that was already hidden in the other person.
The other persons were just afraid to give into it.
My oppinion is that the answers I could write you here, you have given already yourself with your posts.

If you disagree, just think of me as an idiot, or a jerk. I have no problem and am perfectly agreeable, to asume those positions in your social cricle.
You might judge me by the standarts, you think I judge you. In written, words, are just emty containers. Dont think you can read my mind, just from them, just now.



#################
EDIT:
If your apologie is still standing, I dont want you to have the impression that I would strike it down, nor am I demanding it.
In fact, I more was upset, with having bothered you to that extend, than feeling insulted.

Dont wear girls underware on daily basis.
Dont ride a bike, ever.
Dont do any kind of "substance".
Avoid any kind of seafood.
Do consider to have your vasectomy reverted.
Keep a save distance to everything that might radiate energetic waves (eg. microwave, mobile, civilisation).
Find your personal wank-rythm, "just as much as feels good". (more is actualy better than to little)


I ride a bike like all the time. Sperm count is still normal.

I'm tired of his know-it-all attitude. And I couldn't think of what to say after righteous lol. -_- Sorry

I apologize Ronin, really, I shouldn't have typed that. Now that Deimos has me quoted I can't take it off though.

Actually, being alone and never having screwed a guy or gal wouldn't make me gay or in the closet. It just shows I'm a loner and could give less of a shit if I died without having sex. It's not easy in this day and age where girls toss it around, all it takes is being a guy that fakes interest. I know how to play the game. I just refuse to because I have a little bit more pride than that and I refuse to play people out of selfishness. I don't feel the need to prove my manhood to someone online, though I'll assure you I know of my sexual orientation and you are off quite a bit.

Which reminds me. Me and my friends were on the train today and one of my friends, friends came over and was like sup sean. *I'm jeff* We were like hey and they were following a chick at the moment trying to get her number and the girl was like. "Your not getting my fucking number," the kid goes. " Why you gotta be hatin on n-words for?"

She says. "I'm not I just don't like pigs like you" so I start to laugh a little and try to hold it in because one of the teachers from my old school was next to me. *don't think she realized me* Then her stop came and they block her way so she can't get out and then she like smashes through him and runs out and he whistles at her. Then the train was on stand by for like 15 minutes and we went home after. lol.

Actually, being alone and never having screwed a guy or gal wouldn't make me gay or in the closet. It just shows I'm a loner and could give less of a shit if I died without having sex. It's not easy in this day and age where girls toss it around, all it takes is being a guy that fakes interest. I know how to play the game. I just refuse to because I have a little bit more pride than that and I refuse to play people out of selfishness. I don't feel the need to prove my manhood to someone online, though I'll assure you I know of my sexual orientation and you are off quite a bit.

appreciated.

LOL AND THIS IS COMING FROM YOU?!?!!! XD
hey man, im a focused individual, i never flame, EVER

Tell him to masterbate like 4 times in one day, not all at once and then wait like a month or so to masterbate again. His sperm count will be like sky high. It's like your building the muscles up.

Ok, so listen closely, because what I'm going to tell you is an old African VooDoo spell potion.



You take 5 bannanas, peel them, and smash them in a pot with 1/4 cup water. After you have gotten ride of any lumps of bannana, bring the gooupe to a simmer on the stove. Then mix in 1 tablespoon of brown sugar, and just a squeeze of lemon juice. Mix and let sit on stove for two minutes. Then remove from stove, let cool, and serve.


Now, before you take this, you need to say a little something.
You must repeat this line three times for it to work:
"Ballsy Wallsy; Wallsy Ballsy;"

Now drink the potion. You don't need to drink it all at once, but you can not drink/eat anything else until you have emptied the glass or the spell will not take.





After this, you'll cum bukets for a week.

Ok, so listen closely, because what I'm going to tell you is an old African VooDoo spell potion.



You take 5 bannanas, peel them, and smash them in a pot with 1/4 cup water. After you have gotten ride of any lumps of bannana, bring the gooupe to a simmer on the stove. Then mix in 1 tablespoon of brown sugar, and just a squeeze of lemon juice. Mix and let sit on stove for two minutes. Then remove from stove, let cool, and serve.


Now, before you take this, you need to say a little something.
You must repeat this line three times for it to work:
"Ballsy Wallsy; Wallsy Ballsy;"

Now drink the potion. You don't need to drink it all at once, but you can not drink/eat anything else until you have emptied the glass or the spell will not take.





After this, you'll cum bukets for a week.

PENIS PENIS PENIS

you also need to chant

Actually, being alone and never having screwed a guy or gal wouldn't make me gay or in the closet. It just shows I'm a loner and could give less of a shit if I died without having sex. It's easy in this day and age where girls toss it around, all it takes is being a guy that fakes interest. I know how to play the game. I just refuse to because I have a little bit more pride than that and I refuse to play people out of selfishness. I don't feel the need to prove my manhood to someone online, though I'll assure you I know of my sexual orientation and you are off quite a bit.

My views entirely. ♥

You're only saying that because you haven't experienced how great sex is.

You're only saying that because you haven't experienced how great sex is.

I'm not saying sex isn't great, I'm not saying sex is the devil *rawr*

My reasoning is I wouldn't go into a relationship looking for sex. There's actually more meaningful things to relationships, surprise surprise! I'm not one to look towards the future much, however, I'd rather be into one mate for longer than the greatness of the sex in the relationship lasts.

Now gdi, this post isn't about me and my philosophy. Go do what you want, I don't care.

My thought still stands on the OP, your friend has a fetish. /thread

I'm not saying sex isn't great, I'm not saying sex is the devil *rawr*

My reasoning is I wouldn't go into a relationship looking for sex. There's actually more meaningful things to relationships, surprise surprise! I'm not one to look towards the future much, however, I'd rather be into one mate for longer than the greatness of the sex in the relationship lasts.

Now gdi, this post isn't about me and my philosophy. Go do what you want, I don't care.

My thought still stands on the OP, your friend has a fetish. /thread

wut does gdi mean? global defence initiative?

wut does gdi mean? global defence initiative?

eh It's my way of shortening "god damn it"

Consume large amounts of yellow 5.

Ok, so listen closely, because what I'm going to tell you is an old African VooDoo spell potion.



You take 5 bannanas, peel them, and smash them in a pot with 1/4 cup water. After you have gotten ride of any lumps of bannana, bring the gooupe to a simmer on the stove. Then mix in 1 tablespoon of brown sugar, and just a squeeze of lemon juice. Mix and let sit on stove for two minutes. Then remove from stove, let cool, and serve.


Now, before you take this, you need to say a little something.
You must repeat this line three times for it to work:
"Ballsy Wallsy; Wallsy Ballsy;"

Now drink the potion. You don't need to drink it all at once, but you can not drink/eat anything else until you have emptied the glass or the spell will not take.





After this, you'll cum bukets for a week.

Sounds like Banana Pudding.

Sounds like Banana Pudding.

thanks for ruining my apetitete -.- ASSHOLE!

@Fuxey uhm.... isn't that just the way you make banana pudding??




I feel sorry for the people that really tried it xD Who believes something like a spell that you have to say "Ballsy Wallsy, Wallsy Ballsy" xD Who even believes in magic... The only magic you will ever encounter and is still fake is in games...

@Fuxey uhm.... isn't that just the way you make banana pudding??




I feel sorry for the people that really tried it xD Who believes something like a spell that you have to say "Ballsy Wallsy, Wallsy Ballsy" xD Who even believes in magic... The only magic you will ever encounter and is still fake is in games...

yea but why? why did we have to pull in banana split in this discussion? what did it ever do to you?

Peanut butter will thicken it.


:D

@Fuxey uhm.... isn't that just the way you make banana pudding??




I feel sorry for the people that really tried it xD Who believes something like a spell that you have to say "Ballsy Wallsy, Wallsy Ballsy" xD Who even believes in magic... The only magic you will ever encounter and is still fake is in games...

Whoa dont be so close minded there , Magic might exist u might never know ...

To help INCREASE sperm count:

-take a multivitamin
-exercise
-reduce your stress level
-watch your weight (too much body fat can mess with hormones)


Things that DECREASE sperm count:

-smoking (tobacco or marijuana)
-alcohol
-drugs (both recreational and some prescription)
-hot nuts (long hot baths for example)


And of course, try not to get kicked in the balls too often.

To help INCREASE sperm count:

-take a multivitamin
-exercise
-reduce your stress level
-watch your weight (too much body fat can mess with hormones)


Things that DECREASE sperm count:

-smoking (tobacco or marijuana)
-alcohol
-drugs (both recreational and some prescription)
-hot nuts (long hot baths for example)


And of course, try not to get kicked in the balls too often.

if that was true, more onrpg'ers would make topics like this...