This whole post is going to be about my weird issue, You've been warned.
Anyways I was a little off today, mainly because this girl I have a crush on is mia and my old spark has reappeared in my life. Along side this one stupid guy that has been trolling the shit out of me, not allowing me to work out during the only time I can.
I was about to go do my daily cardio and one of my friends. Walked up to me and said "Man, you're not yourself today.". Guys I was flip'n ecstatic to hear this. Now here's why.
My entire high school life, I've been soul searching. I've literally switched through personas my entire in high school, it got to the point where I was able to please everyone by my presence by acting the way they wanted then the next day I'd act the opposite confusing people. Nothing felt ok, I was honestly in this zone where I literally thought I didn't belong anywhere because I didn't understand myself meanless of the less other people, me. So I kept everyone at arms length and never let anyone in, except that old spark I was talking about, and I'm not going into detail about it. Now when I least expect it, I realised I've almost gained a personality. Made me have a sense of belonging, and for the rest of the day I was senselessly happy.
I got home and everything started to dawn on me, I eventually came to think when did I start to act this to assume this persona.
I've been thinking about it all day, and came to the conclusion it's was when problems started to settle in. Problems that I couldn't just get rid of by brushing it off and living with it, problems that I actually wanted to solve.
I'm alittle busy right now, But I do plan on finishing this.
TL;DR - Though I'd like you guys to read the actual post
If you guys want to take a question or something to post about out of this. It'd be when did you find yourself exactly, and how? or Why do you act this certain way?
I understand that everyone carries a different persona for certain situations. But answer if possible!