and i need all of yr help if we're going to solve it.
the butler of the onrpg mansion, mr. edwards, more commonly known as mr. e, was found murdered in his downstairs quarters this morning. he was stabbed repeatedly in the neck with a sewing needle. i have been all over the mansion interrogating its inhabitants and searching for clues. i've yet to make any significant progress so far. i've gathered all known information on the people that were inside the onrpg mansion last night, and i need you to help look for things in the suspects' files that might help identify the murderer.
xenonight2 - the head of the onrpg househould. he claims he was upstairs in his study, studiously studying medical texts last night, when mr. e was murdered.. however, when i studied his study this morning, i found no medical texts. i did, however, find an empty, crumpled envelope addressed to "the worst" from someone named "loric", who, according to said envelope, resides in "6969 munchmybutt blvd". i could not find the letter. who is loric? why was he in correspondence with xenonight2? why did xenonight2 lie about his activities last night? so many questions.
postrook - he wandered into the onrpg mansion many years ago, on a dark and super eerie night. no one, as far as i know, knows where he came from, or who he really is. in any case, he has resided in the house for many years. he doesn't speak to the other inhabitants very much. late at night, strange music can often be heard coming from his room. upon asking him what he did last night, he became hostile. he told me to tell a man named "murxidon" to stop bothering him, and refused to say another word. i have yet to discover the significance of this, but i feel it is important.
treytrey12 - the personal trainer/dance teacher who was originally brought in to teach xenonight2 to twerk. however, the inhabitants of the onrpg mansion all took to him immediately, and asked him to stay and personally train them permanently. on the night in question, treytrey12 confessed that he had slipped out while no one was watching, and sneaked off to an illegal dance club. a likely story, or is it?
z0mbie - a very strange, unsettling old man. no one knows how old he really is, but he is rumored to be older than the onrpg mansion. he spends most of his days wandering around the garden, scaring all the children that wander by. when i inquired about the murder of mr. e, z0mbie told me to go suck a lemon, and, with speed uncharacteristic of such an elderly man, ran down the street, turned a corner, and disappeared. so far, z0mbie is my prime suspect.
duby - duby is a strange character. he is reported to constantly leave the mansion, and come back with a completely new identity. it is not known what he does on these extended leaves, or why he so often changes his name. on the night of mr. e's murder, duby claims he was in the woods behind the mansion, meditating. i feel as though this is not the whole truth, as he seemed very nervous and fidgety. not at all characteristic of a man of peace and meditation.
kamilla - she is the real estate agent who originally sold the onrpg mansion to xenonight2. for whatever reason, she never left, and everyone feels too awkward to say anything. she spends most of her time in the game room, watching hockey on tv. she told me, "whoever killed mr. e did us all a favor. that guy smelled so wack." very interesting...
narfi hungry willem - the gardener and caretaker of the onrpg mansion. when asked what he was up to on the night in question, he said, "gardening, of course. i'm the gardener", while shifting his eyes back and forth, shiftily.
avarance - he was the gardener before narfi hungry willem took his job. avarance now wanders around the house's perimeter, scowling at anyone who catches his eye. when i approached him to discuss mr. e's untimely death, he put on a pair of headphones and walked away. his music was so loud, though, i could distinctly hear wu-tang clan's "protect ya neck". symbolic?
jaydude - i couldn't find any good information on jaydude. he seems to have disappeared from the mansion before the murder even took place. however, he's been writing regularly to the inhabitants of the house, but i haven't found any significant clues in his letters. hopefully you can.
cingal - the carriage driver. he takes guests to and from the mansion on his old wagon. he claims he couldn't have murdered mr. e, since he was late coming back to the mansion that night.
kreva - a jolly, mustachioed man who likes to lounge in the lounge reading magazines and laughing heartily. upon my first question, which was something like, "what is yr name?" he said, "i can't tell you that. i don't want to hurt yr feelings." i was grateful, but confused.
marcipaans - the doorman of the onrpg mansion. he used to be head chef, but he was demoted by xenonight2 after allegedly insulting him. he seemed to be in good spirits when i talked to him though, but that could have been a facade. he told me he was at the door, like always, when mr. e met his fate. surely he would have heard him though? mr. e's room is very close to the front door. there's something he isn't telling me...
oisterboy - the head chef of the onrpg household. he spends his days cooking, duh. when i asked him where he was when mr. e was murdered, he said, "cooking, duh." i didn't really like his attitude.
here's some additional evidence i was able to discover through interviews and observations.
the morning mr. e's body was discovered, i observed a dead rook, or maybe it was a crow, hanging from the telephone pole in front of the house. a warning? a signature, perhaps?
an old car door was found in the garden. i don't know what this means.
in xenonight2's study, i found an unfinished novel, in which the main character is an omelette. however, i don't believe it to be his, because he had written notes on it, such as "the setting doesn't really add to the story, maybe try a new location?" and, "i don't find the villain to be very threatening, what are omelettes really scared of?" strange.
just after 10pm, kamilla heard two loud sneezes coming from the stairwell.
there was a bloody footprint found in the basement. it looked like it had been left by a sneaker of some sort. maybe a nike shoe?
it appears as if oisterboy was about to prepare a late night omelette, as evidenced by the eggs on the kitchen counter. why had he not finished? maybe because he was busy stabbing mr. e in the neck? i don't know.
duby told me he heard a loud scream come from the house. he said the scream sounded like, "no! them apple leaves loss!" i don't know what this means either, though if duby was in the woods meditating like he said, it must have been a loud scream indeed.
i have yet to figure out what any of this means, and that's where i need yr help. i need you to piece together the evidence i've already found, as well as find new evidence that i've overlooked. i'm counting on you guys, there's a murderer among us, and he or she needs to be brought to justice.
serious reply: could the old car door in the garden be from cingal the carriage driver? since he drives a old wagon.surely marcipaans must know more about this. otherwise narfi hungry willem
im starting to think everyone chipped in on this murder