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Thread: the short story thread

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    Default the short story thread

    i will post one story from my writings which is private but i felt the need to share. i cant spell good and it may or may not offend some.


    :WALK:
    I walk and all around me is dead corpses.I see the eyes of the dead ones being plucked out by ravens whose feathers is as black as the souls that were damned.Around me was much blood.I walk through the city and as far as the eye can see is death.Death walks by my side.To whom she speaks to my surprise with a gental voice.Douglas you are here to see and witness the end.The end of all mankind.I walk and i smell death i fear death.I walk to the end and upon me was a gate.The gate was shut with the mark of a great seal.Around the gate was two angels.One with wings as white as snow.And one with wings as black as the darkest night sky.The one with the white wings spoke to me.Douglas the gate you see is two fold.I ask what do you mean in which with the sound of great thunder the angel spoke.The gate is two fold its a gate to your final destination its up to you as to choose what it may be.Then with the sound of many crows the angel with black wings said to me.Douglas the gate is death.Death is what you seek and for that you get it.I ask as i trimble in fear not understanding what they mean.Then with a great roar a beast appears to me.The beast was a lamb.A lamb that was at one time sacrificed to god above.The beast had seven eyes and seven horns.The beast spoke to me and said this.This gate you see is two fold.Depending on your faith in god is as to what you will see and embrace. The beast gave permission to the two angels in which the first with wings as white as snow opened it. I saw peace and eternal life.I saw people praising god.I saw four beasts around his throne.They were signing praise to god and our savior who is Jesus Christ are lord.I saw many saints to whom was pure enough to be in the prescience of god.Then the angel said come you shall walk and be a witness. The angel took his hand out and behold was a scroll with many names. I ask dear angel what is this scroll in which the angel said its your history i shall show you paradise and the many great things. You will want to stay in which i will decline and you will weep and beg. But don't feel sad the angel said. As its not your time.He then said come and i followed.In a blink of my eye i was in a field.In this field was perfect coulour.The sound was so clear.The air was so clear.Then i saw people they all were happy.They were moving about.Some siting down drinking wine.Some eating from a great tree.I then ask the angel what is this tree? The angel said with mighty force that this tree was the tree of life which bears many fruits.I saw with my eyes fruits that were unknown to me.I saw a women picking the fruit.She then placed it in the basket and took it to a table.She then praised god.And began to eat.The angel said come! Then we appeared to another area with many big houses.I knew that these were the mansions that were promised from the holy book. I look and to mystery the homes seemed alive. I saw flowers that never have wilted.I saw a road of pure gold.Then the angel explained to me that these are the saved ones riches that they stored in heaven.The angel said there is more to see but my eyes were to weak to see them at this time.Then at my surprise i was back at the gate.The angel of white said now you will walk with death you will see fear and weeping. You o your self will be fearful and beg to go back but you must witness this. At the sound of many crows the angel with black wings said come! At the blink of my eye i was in a dark place. The place was hot and the air stale. The stench of decay and uncleanness was all around. The ground was dry and dead. The being said you are in Hades or as most call it hell. I will shield you and protect you from all the pain and the many legions of demons who hate gods children. He said come and i walked. We walked to a gate. In the right hand of the angel of black came out a single key. The key was rusted and looked as to have been used many times. He then opened the gate and then he said come Douglas walk with me. I follow and in my sight was pure fear. I heard many weeping and screams of pain. As we walked i saw to my left and right pits in which was a damned soul. The fire was bright. Inside the pit i saw the souls they were wrapped in flames. There skin would burn up and then grow back.The angel then said Douglas you were once lost. You believed in many pagan things. And even gave praise to the great beast. I will show you what happens to those who worship the false gods and are the image of the beast.We appeared to a place in what seemed to be a big lake of fire. Inside this like was the souls of the false god worhsipers and the once who took the mark of man.The mark of the beast. I saw inside that there skin was burnt and withered with decay.I saw worms coming in and out of them. They screamed in agony and in immense pain. The saw the angel that was death and began to curse and mock him.They begin to mock god.They scorned against him in life. And still scorn against him in death. They each had the mark of man.The mark was six hundred and sixty six and the marked was like a brand. It glowed and each time they mocked the mark would increase there pain. Then the angel said Douglas you have struggled with lust. I will show you there torment. I will as well show you the torments of the ones who lay with the same gender. We appear into another place. To my surprise there was no fire.It was still hot though.The angel said come walk with me. As i walked i saw many men and women masturbating to the image of the harlot. They were not getting pleasure as there private parts were covered in thorns. The means penises was covered in thorns and at the head was nail stuck in it. The men were stuck in limbo and could not stop lusting.They were in pain as each time they struck them self the thorns would go into there skin.They begged for mercy and none came. Then the angel said come we shall see the ones who sleep with the same gender. I saw men chained to each other. Around there feet was a swine that was feasting upon them. Behind each human was a demon. Each soul of man was being torment by these demons.They were putting vile things in there behinds. Some with spikes.Some with thorns.And each one of the souls was being mocked. The demons once in a while said oh to how we deceived you. They begged for mercy and none came. Then i saw the women who slept with each other. There was many tables in which had nails stuck in there skin. To my sight there legs were spread so far apart that in the realm of life it would break there legs but they are in death. Then i saw a worm come in and out of there vaginas. The worm was covered in fire and spikes and would cause them much pain. Then the angel said that is enough. Your eyes are to weak at this time to see any more. Then at the blink of my eyes i appeared back to the two angels. They both said at the same time. Douglas the end is nigh. Choose your next life. Peace or Death. Walk with god and you will have peace. Walk with the beast and you shall perish. The end

    This work here was just something i thought of about paradise and hell. its not a work of the bible. I am not mocking nor trying to preach. Thanks for understanding and reading.


    from duby to you guys enjoy

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    I refuse to read that until you put paragraphs in. I did read the first sentence though. Don't say "dead corpses". Say dead people or bodies or corpses. Corpses are already dead, so "dead corpses" is redundant. I'm looking forward to more once there's paragraphs!

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheSkald View Post
    I refuse to read that until you put paragraphs in. I did read the first sentence though. Don't say "dead corpses". Say dead people or bodies or corpses. Corpses are already dead, so "dead corpses" is redundant. I'm looking forward to more once there's paragraphs!
    i have no clue as to what a paragraph is

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    Quote Originally Posted by duby View Post
    i have no clue as to what a paragraph is


    best short story i've heard in a while

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    Quote Originally Posted by duby View Post
    i have no clue as to what a paragraph is

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    duby, did you go to elementary school?
    have you read a book or news article?

    I strongly suggest you Google what a paragraph is.

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    now i want to die too

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    I demand this thread to be locked

    .

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kamilla View Post
    duby, did you go to elementary school?
    have you read a book or news article?

    I strongly suggest you Google what a paragraph is.
    i did but still dont understand what i read >< i went to school but quit as the folks there was *******s and i did not want a murder charge. im not violent any more think god

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    Quote Originally Posted by postrook View Post
    now i want to die too
    awww why nick? did you read my warning that it may offend some? when i write i write whats on my mind. and most of the time its about death and other morbid things. sorry guys i cant show all that's in my private collocation of writings

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    Quote Originally Posted by FluffyKitten View Post
    I demand this thread to be locked

    .
    i demand you to be locked

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    Quote Originally Posted by Loric View Post
    There's a distinct lack of swagger in this story duby.
    i hate swag and it will never be in my writeing

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    Quote Originally Posted by Loric View Post
    Your writing would improve with incorporation of swag
    i think william faulkner said that

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    Default A Wonderful Dream

    One day, a boy went outside to play and decided he wanted to go exploring. He walked farther than he usually would, past all his familiar surroundings and came across a clearing. Upon reaching the clearing, he noticed that it was filled with small flowers and a girl sitting on top of a mound of upturned earth. She was smiling and in her mouth was a stem of one of the flowers.


    The boy, curious as to why she was doing that, asked her about it. Instead of telling him, she grabbed one of the flowers from the ground and handed it to him. Not knowing what to expect, the boy took the stem and tried tasting on the broken end to discover that it had a sour but pleasant taste, similar to grapes. The boy smiled and sat with the girl on the mound and enjoyed talking with her the rest of the evening, while having more of the floral treats.


    Time passed quickly and the two had to part ways to return home. Before they left, the girl promised that she would be there the next day and wait for him to come back. The boy agreed and headed home, still amazed by the new friend he had made and the odd, yet wonderful treat she had shared with him.


    That night the boy dreamed he was again sitting on that mound of earth with the girl, enjoying more of the flower stems as they watched the clouds go by, just as they did earlier that day. It was a wonderful dream.


    The next day, the boy eagerly rushed back to the place the girl was, hoping he'd get to talk to her again. Eager to meet with the girl again to talk and share the flowers he ran back to the area he came across before.


    But there was no one there.


    He sat upon the mound of earth for a while, till the evening came, waiting for the girl to come back, but she never did. Saddened, the boy leaped off the mound and decided to go home. Before he left, he decided that he would enjoy another flower stem before he went back home. He picked up another one of the stems that he had enjoyed the day before and tasted it, but quickly spat out and threw it on the ground. The flavor of grapes was no more. The flower stem tasted of nothing but dirt and grass.


    Confused, the boy tried another only to find that it, too tasted the same. He longed for the taste once more, to see the girl again, but with no explanation for the dissappeance of either he ended up going home. He again went to sleep that night and dreamt of spending time upon that small hill with the girl. It was a wonderful dream.


    The next day the boy decided that he would return to that place and wait again for the girl. Maybe she could explain what had happened with her and the flowers the day before. Maybe, something would be different this time around.


    It was indeed different.


    The entire area had been reduced to nothing but fresh earth. The flowers he'd enjoyed with the girl along with the little hill the sat on were no more. He was alone in an empty field that no longer had any resemblance or trace of what he sought. Crestfallen, the boy decided to return home and never to come back. That night the boy dreamed yet again of the girl and the flowers. He then realized that even though they were gone, the memories would always be with him.


    It was a wonderful dream.
    Be careful of what you say, tomorrow or today, for the words you now speak, may become the poison your enemies later seek; truth.

    "Rules do not exist to bind you, they exist so you may know your freedoms"

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    The Rider of Malice

    The horseman gos by the name of death. He carry's with him a goblet of Malice and a flock of ravens.Oh to the people as they trembal in fear when he walks. The gates are open wide and death is with him. Behold he says with a mighty force to all mankind yee all shall die.

    On a stormy eve a night as dark as deaths hair. The plagues are unleashed and with it many deaths. Behold the rider said. Yee all shall perish.

    The harlot rides with the horseman in red velvet clothing and on a red horse with eyes of fire.She says in a mighty voice. To all mankind i shall strike yee down with my sin. Yee shall lust after my image and yee shall die.

    A great earthquake shook the world and all islands hid themselves. A great war broke out and much blood was shed. For miles and miles was blood. The crows pick the dead mans bones.

    Many fear the coming of Abaddon he shall bring death and hell with him. For the gates of Hades will never close till the final hour on the clock.

    Death will bring much pain to some. And pleasure to very few. To the blasphemers and the hypocrites. I look forward to the day of your crucifixion upon broken crosses and as you take your last breath you shall embrace the flames.

    From fire he came and in his left hand was a scroll. In the writeings of the scroll was the many evil deeds of mankind that he brought. In his right hand is a set of weights. For the judgment he shall weigh your heart. If yee pure you may get peace but oh to the wicked for there pain will be great. The worm shall gnaw on your flesh. And you shall gnash your teeth. Dont look for forgivness as none will come. No angels no love. Pain.Darkness.The true death. The death of your soul.

    Many will bow down but there hearts to stone. They will weep.

    The hangman's noose around they throats as they cry tears of blood they shall reap what they sowed.

    For all mankind is deceived. And few will enter paradise.

    My question to my self will i enter? I doubt it as the wicked will get no taste of peace. Only death.


    none of this is from the bible just my imagination running wild like all times dont get offend i am not trying to preach.

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    Calling it now. Duby is a Prophet.

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    Quote Originally Posted by duby View Post
    The Rider of Malice

    The horseman gos by the name of death. He carry's with him a goblet of Malice and a flock of ravens.Oh to the people as they trembal in fear when he walks. The gates are open wide and death is with him. Behold he says with a mighty force to all mankind yee all shall die.

    On a stormy eve a night as dark as deaths hair. The plagues are unleashed and with it many deaths. Behold the rider said. Yee all shall perish.

    The harlot rides with the horseman in red velvet clothing and on a red horse with eyes of fire.She says in a mighty voice. To all mankind i shall strike yee down with my sin. Yee shall lust after my image and yee shall die.

    A great earthquake shook the world and all islands hid themselves. A great war broke out and much blood was shed. For miles and miles was blood. The crows pick the dead mans bones.

    Many fear the coming of Abaddon he shall bring death and hell with him. For the gates of Hades will never close till the final hour on the clock.

    Death will bring much pain to some. And pleasure to very few. To the blasphemers and the hypocrites. I look forward to the day of your crucifixion upon broken crosses and as you take your last breath you shall embrace the flames.

    From fire he came and in his left hand was a scroll. In the writeings of the scroll was the many evil deeds of mankind that he brought. In his right hand is a set of weights. For the judgment he shall weigh your heart. If yee pure you may get peace but oh to the wicked for there pain will be great. The worm shall gnaw on your flesh. And you shall gnash your teeth. Dont look for forgivness as none will come. No angels no love. Pain.Darkness.The true death. The death of your soul.

    Many will bow down but there hearts to stone. They will weep.

    The hangman's noose around they throats as they cry tears of blood they shall reap what they sowed.

    For all mankind is deceived. And few will enter paradise.

    My question to my self will i enter? I doubt it as the wicked will get no taste of peace. Only death.


    none of this is from the bible just my imagination running wild like all times dont get offend i am not trying to preach.
    good imagery! it's not really a story though. try writing one where something happens. make yr character do something. face an enemy, solve a mystery, resolve a problem, etc. that would be more fun to read.

    also good job with the paragraphs!

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    Thanks Skald i saw others with they writeing so i tried. now i got the paragraphs right i can continue and its more of a basic poem then any thing

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    Quote Originally Posted by FarmerM View Post
    Calling it now. Duby is a Prophet.
    nope ^^ i just write whats on my mind. Sigh why do i think about death so much ><

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    god dammit duby

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    A short story by Bunzz:
    "I woke up. I took a shit. I went back to sleep. It was 4 in the morning after all."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Abhorsen View Post
    god dammit duby
    what? i warned you guys if it was gonna offend ya dont read it. i dont sugar coat shit i speak my mind

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    Nuestra Seņora de la Santa Muerte i ask for your protection.

    I ask for your healing.Your guidance and wisdom.

    Protect me in this coming battle.

    Let me not fear death but embrace it. Protect me from it and guide me up to the skys.

    My sweet holy lady of death. Please watch over me.

    May you cradle me with your sweet death.

    I ask for your care.

    Thank you Santa Muerte

    Something short

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    sorry duby that last one was way too offensive for me. i'm gonna have to submit a formal request for you to be banned

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheSkald View Post
    sorry duby that last one was way too offensive for me. i'm gonna have to submit a formal request for you to be banned
    damn you lol but yea go ahead if you wish to do so

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    Both arms spread wide, allowing a long and straining yawn to produce from his small throat. Eagerly hopping out of his make-shift hay bed, he joyously stood, looking out of the glassless window. Today marks Chase’s 16th birthday, which is normally the age of passage into adult-hood for Pulcharians. But, the fact of becoming a adult is not why he is so cheerful of this event, but the fact he can become a squire for the Queen’s legion of knights. The Crimson Guard, are actually the only survivors that have fought and to this day exist after the revolution. Led by the Great Knight Alexandros, and his followers of the octagon table, watching over the lands of Pulchria, constantly extinguishing the flames of evil the Dark one ignites constantly.
    After getting dressed in his typical spring Pulchria apparel, brown leather boots, breeches, and a haggard tunic. He bee-lined directly outside, a old man waiting by a loaded pack horse met his arrival with a hacking cough. If anything in Pulchria, the one thing many learn is time waits for noone, and here stands a living example. A once strong and able body man now stands half his weight, hunched back and frail. His skin has become a rubbery and saggy like material, his one large bones now are the size of twigs that aren't even worthy of being firewood. Time is indeed to be feared, for it decides when you are to come, and when you are to go. Chase kept a mental note and greeted the old man.
    "I have to work on my birthday?!" Chase groaned. The old man coughed, cleared his throat of flim. "Your birthday or not, such will not fill your stomach or pay taxes. Now take this harvest to town and sell it." His voice was hoarse, but still carried the firm vigor of his younger days.
    Chase made a silent remark and motioned to untie the horse. After struggling with the difficult knots, he eventually untied the horse and prepared to walk the trail into the village. His once gleeful demeanor was stolen from within him and replaced with a combination of hate and sadness, which one was stronger was not known, so they coexisted within him, causing his stomach to wrench with emotion.
    Thoughts of hatred and rage filled his mind as he stomped down the path with the horse rein in his hand. "I shouldn't have to stay here with this old man." He tugged the horse rein hard, as if it was a small dog trying to venture away or strayed too far behind its owner. "Im sixteen years of age now, I can LEAVE if i want too, yeah, he'll probably turn into a fossil or som- ..." Just as he was about to complete the last word he tripped over something penetrating from the ground. Sending him to the ground holding his foot in pain, then sprawled out on the ground gasping for air and cursing to himself. After regaining his strength, he stood up slowly, surveying his surroundings, looking to find what tripped him in the first place. Then he saw it.

    A handle of a weapon protruded from the ground, although it was covered in dirt, part of its blade glinted in the sunlight. Chase stared in awe at the item, it was foreign, something he'd never seen before, but heard of in the tales the old man would tell him. Its destructive power, it could control life or death...a tool of war. He baby stepped towards it, mouth agape. He reached down, and pulled it slowly from the ground, it made a noise that seem as if it praised him for pulling it free. It was at-least 19 inches in length, its hilt and handle was too dirty to be identifiable however it wasn't cold to the touch like metal, but instead felt like leather. He felt something in him, something strange, but he paid it no attention. He found some extra leather skin in one of the saddle packs and wrapped it around the weapon, then concealed it within one of the bags that carried his belongings.
    "If anyone asks, its just a extra long hammer or tong." He told himself, gripping the horse rein and began his trek down the path.
    The Town became visible as he continued down the path, what once was a speck was now growing bigger and bigger by the foot step. The cries from the town market could be heard, the animals, and the children. Culder-Ridge, built by his grandfather's grandfather, surrounded by the great sea, and protected well from the craggy cliffsides, and wild forests. It was once home to the Queen, before the new capital was built for her to rule in.
    As he approached the town, Chase could hear the banter of children playing in the muddy fields, the cries of merchants in the trading district, and in the middle rose the mayor home, it was made of a rare wood found in the woods of the Ogre valley, agarwood.
    The Agartree isnt exactly cut down, for fear of being hunt down and killed by the queens personal guardians. Agartrees are large, they range by stories, and their size are comparable to militia standard battlekeeps, in short, big. Gatherers and lumbermen hike to the top and saw off their branches, and tear off pieces of their bark. Agarwood, when consolidated with iron can create a almost invincible armor, but by record only one blacksmith knows how to do such.
    Tabards and banners lay vertically from the pillars of the house, a cliff with a moon in the background with a silhouette of a deer like creature staring into the distance. This guild of druids is known as the "followers of Udine" Some mystical deer that is supposedly immortal and can grant wishes. Chase smirked when he saw the tabard flowing in the wind, approaching the great doors of the home, as soon as he put a foot on the marble flooring the two doors swung open. A man of small and stocky nature was produced from within the dark inside. His face was puffy and fat, long slanted eyes, with eye brows to match, and a toupee that seemed to slide across his bad head. Chase stepped to his side and let the small man by, going inside.
    He was greeted by two large guards, wielding two large poleaxes. They nodded and crossed their weapons, blocking entrance.
    "I need to see the town mayor for my daily market license! I have gold this time!" Chase pleaded. One of the guards raised his eye brows.
    "How much?" His voice was deep and solid, if anything this guy meant business. Chase noticed he was sweating through his tabard and chainlink.
    "Well, I have 'enough' to get some fresh water from the tower." He licked his lips to add effect. A small smirk appeared on the outline of his mouth.
    The dark skinned guard stared at him for a moment, bribing is normally dealt with rather harshly, its either one hundred years in the mines, or a debt to the queen...and in recordable history, no one has lived to pay off such a debt. But chase knew what he was doing.
    "...Fine, you will get your license and you will bring US our water, whelping." Though he wasn't trying to yell, the sheer deepness of his voice doubted such. Chase was small in form, but he hated when people called him out about such, he nodded and walked in as the weapons were raised. He could feel the eyes of the guards drilling all sorts of holes in him.
    Last edited by TreyTrey12; 07-06-2014 at 11:11 PM.

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