the short story thread

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  1. #1
    Marineking's Minion Reputation: 211

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    Default the short story thread

    i will post one story from my writings which is private but i felt the need to share. i cant spell good and it may or may not offend some.


    :WALK:
    I walk and all around me is dead corpses.I see the eyes of the dead ones being plucked out by ravens whose feathers is as black as the souls that were damned.Around me was much blood.I walk through the city and as far as the eye can see is death.Death walks by my side.To whom she speaks to my surprise with a gental voice.Douglas you are here to see and witness the end.The end of all mankind.I walk and i smell death i fear death.I walk to the end and upon me was a gate.The gate was shut with the mark of a great seal.Around the gate was two angels.One with wings as white as snow.And one with wings as black as the darkest night sky.The one with the white wings spoke to me.Douglas the gate you see is two fold.I ask what do you mean in which with the sound of great thunder the angel spoke.The gate is two fold its a gate to your final destination its up to you as to choose what it may be.Then with the sound of many crows the angel with black wings said to me.Douglas the gate is death.Death is what you seek and for that you get it.I ask as i trimble in fear not understanding what they mean.Then with a great roar a beast appears to me.The beast was a lamb.A lamb that was at one time sacrificed to god above.The beast had seven eyes and seven horns.The beast spoke to me and said this.This gate you see is two fold.Depending on your faith in god is as to what you will see and embrace. The beast gave permission to the two angels in which the first with wings as white as snow opened it. I saw peace and eternal life.I saw people praising god.I saw four beasts around his throne.They were signing praise to god and our savior who is Jesus Christ are lord.I saw many saints to whom was pure enough to be in the prescience of god.Then the angel said come you shall walk and be a witness. The angel took his hand out and behold was a scroll with many names. I ask dear angel what is this scroll in which the angel said its your history i shall show you paradise and the many great things. You will want to stay in which i will decline and you will weep and beg. But don't feel sad the angel said. As its not your time.He then said come and i followed.In a blink of my eye i was in a field.In this field was perfect coulour.The sound was so clear.The air was so clear.Then i saw people they all were happy.They were moving about.Some siting down drinking wine.Some eating from a great tree.I then ask the angel what is this tree? The angel said with mighty force that this tree was the tree of life which bears many fruits.I saw with my eyes fruits that were unknown to me.I saw a women picking the fruit.She then placed it in the basket and took it to a table.She then praised god.And began to eat.The angel said come! Then we appeared to another area with many big houses.I knew that these were the mansions that were promised from the holy book. I look and to mystery the homes seemed alive. I saw flowers that never have wilted.I saw a road of pure gold.Then the angel explained to me that these are the saved ones riches that they stored in heaven.The angel said there is more to see but my eyes were to weak to see them at this time.Then at my surprise i was back at the gate.The angel of white said now you will walk with death you will see fear and weeping. You o your self will be fearful and beg to go back but you must witness this. At the sound of many crows the angel with black wings said come! At the blink of my eye i was in a dark place. The place was hot and the air stale. The stench of decay and uncleanness was all around. The ground was dry and dead. The being said you are in Hades or as most call it hell. I will shield you and protect you from all the pain and the many legions of demons who hate gods children. He said come and i walked. We walked to a gate. In the right hand of the angel of black came out a single key. The key was rusted and looked as to have been used many times. He then opened the gate and then he said come Douglas walk with me. I follow and in my sight was pure fear. I heard many weeping and screams of pain. As we walked i saw to my left and right pits in which was a damned soul. The fire was bright. Inside the pit i saw the souls they were wrapped in flames. There skin would burn up and then grow back.The angel then said Douglas you were once lost. You believed in many pagan things. And even gave praise to the great beast. I will show you what happens to those who worship the false gods and are the image of the beast.We appeared to a place in what seemed to be a big lake of fire. Inside this like was the souls of the false god worhsipers and the once who took the mark of man.The mark of the beast. I saw inside that there skin was burnt and withered with decay.I saw worms coming in and out of them. They screamed in agony and in immense pain. The saw the angel that was death and began to curse and mock him.They begin to mock god.They scorned against him in life. And still scorn against him in death. They each had the mark of man.The mark was six hundred and sixty six and the marked was like a brand. It glowed and each time they mocked the mark would increase there pain. Then the angel said Douglas you have struggled with lust. I will show you there torment. I will as well show you the torments of the ones who lay with the same gender. We appear into another place. To my surprise there was no fire.It was still hot though.The angel said come walk with me. As i walked i saw many men and women masturbating to the image of the harlot. They were not getting pleasure as there private parts were covered in thorns. The means penises was covered in thorns and at the head was nail stuck in it. The men were stuck in limbo and could not stop lusting.They were in pain as each time they struck them self the thorns would go into there skin.They begged for mercy and none came. Then the angel said come we shall see the ones who sleep with the same gender. I saw men chained to each other. Around there feet was a swine that was feasting upon them. Behind each human was a demon. Each soul of man was being torment by these demons.They were putting vile things in there behinds. Some with spikes.Some with thorns.And each one of the souls was being mocked. The demons once in a while said oh to how we deceived you. They begged for mercy and none came. Then i saw the women who slept with each other. There was many tables in which had nails stuck in there skin. To my sight there legs were spread so far apart that in the realm of life it would break there legs but they are in death. Then i saw a worm come in and out of there vaginas. The worm was covered in fire and spikes and would cause them much pain. Then the angel said that is enough. Your eyes are to weak at this time to see any more. Then at the blink of my eyes i appeared back to the two angels. They both said at the same time. Douglas the end is nigh. Choose your next life. Peace or Death. Walk with god and you will have peace. Walk with the beast and you shall perish. The end

    This work here was just something i thought of about paradise and hell. its not a work of the bible. I am not mocking nor trying to preach. Thanks for understanding and reading.


    from duby to you guys enjoy

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    I refuse to read that until you put paragraphs in. I did read the first sentence though. Don't say "dead corpses". Say dead people or bodies or corpses. Corpses are already dead, so "dead corpses" is redundant. I'm looking forward to more once there's paragraphs!

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    Marineking's Minion Reputation: 211

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheSkald View Post
    I refuse to read that until you put paragraphs in. I did read the first sentence though. Don't say "dead corpses". Say dead people or bodies or corpses. Corpses are already dead, so "dead corpses" is redundant. I'm looking forward to more once there's paragraphs!
    i have no clue as to what a paragraph is

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    Quote Originally Posted by duby View Post
    i have no clue as to what a paragraph is


    best short story i've heard in a while

    Currently Playing: Borderlands the pre-sequel

    >Screenshot Collection 2013-2014<

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    Quote Originally Posted by duby View Post
    i have no clue as to what a paragraph is

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    duby, did you go to elementary school?
    have you read a book or news article?

    I strongly suggest you Google what a paragraph is.

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    There's a distinct lack of swagger in this story duby.

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    now i want to die too
    I hate TALKING. to PEOPLE. about THINGS.

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    I demand this thread to be locked

    .





  10. #10
    Marineking's Minion Reputation: 211

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kamilla View Post
    duby, did you go to elementary school?
    have you read a book or news article?

    I strongly suggest you Google what a paragraph is.
    i did but still dont understand what i read >< i went to school but quit as the folks there was assholes and i did not want a murder charge. im not violent any more think god

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by postrook View Post
    now i want to die too
    awww why nick? did you read my warning that it may offend some? when i write i write whats on my mind. and most of the time its about death and other morbid things. sorry guys i cant show all that's in my private collocation of writings

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by FluffyKitten View Post
    I demand this thread to be locked

    .
    i demand you to be locked

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Loric View Post
    There's a distinct lack of swagger in this story duby.
    i hate swag and it will never be in my writeing

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