I was raised in the belief that if you don't follow god and Jesus you will burn in hell. I have had many dreams of hell and the things i have seen were terrifying but what i question the most is. Is why should most of the world go to hell for a different belief system they all worship god but call him different names. God has many names so why should some one automatically be dammed for believing in another god. For example Shiva or one of the pagan goddess Dianna in truth we all know god by his many names. I have had some near death experiences the one i remember most is from my last suicide attempt. I went to a place of pure darkness. There was no life there no sound nothing. But i felt a since of peace that this earth cant provide.
I fear the idea of hell so much as my heart is full of anger and hatred. And if hell is real i know i will go there. I have read many cases of death. And most i read went to a place of peace. And some went to a place called the void which is hard to explain. But from what i understand is that we all will be with god one day. Just some have to be pure with there spirit. I was talking to my dad yesterday and he believes only we humans have a soul i don't believe that. I believe all living things has a soul. Why would god makes his creation and only have humans go to an after life. I have begone to become confused on what to believe. I see and here things that aint human. Perhaps they are demons are spirits that are earth bound i don't know. I call them the watchers and i have seen these beings in my dreams. It says in the bible angels are perfect in all ways. These beings that i have saw was so beautiful and perfect yet i felt a sense of unease in my dreams when i see them.
I dont know any more though. I feel like i am cursed and broken. People arent supposed to think like i do. I have gotten to where my anger and hatred is worse then ever. If hell is real then i will be there. But i feel like there is a small chance that i will get some peace. I wonder if my mother is in peace are torment. I never told her i forgive her and have never had the chance to ask her why she hurt me.
But what i cant understand is. Why would some one who worships another god in which is the same god but a different name be damned. I dont know any more