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Thread: I had sex with my stud friend and now things all fcked up

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    Default I had sex with my stud friend and now things all fcked up

    So I've been pretty close in terms of friendship, since my high school days with this girl, who is a stud/tomboy. I mean close close as in, she's literally wing manned for me at the club, we drink together, kick it etc. I've never looked at her as a female but more of a homie.
    The Sunday night we was kicking it since neither one of us worked Monday cause of MLK day. We were originally supposed to pre game at my place with some other friends and then hit up a night lounge but it was cold as shit and no one came through so we stayed in and finished the bottle we had.
    I got up to get some more juice to wash the alcohol aftertaste that was lingering on my tongue and when I sat down I sat kinda close to her. We got to drunk talking for a min, and she said "you know, I'm straight fem (oxymoronic?) but if there was any 'n word' I'd let hit it'd be you" "you been the a1 since day 1"
    I said I wouldn't smash cause I don't see you like that plus I've known you long enough that you kinda look like a dude now to me.
    Long story short we ended up having sex anyways. Right there in my living room.


    But I don't know what to feel. We haven't talked since and when we woke up she ducked off quick. No texts or anything. Like I feel bad cause that's my legit friend. I've told stuff I wouldn't tell anyone. She texted me earlier today said she's doing some thinking and that's it. I think her phone is off cause she has an iPhone and if you message someone with an iPhone it lets you know if it's been delivered or not. If it doesn't say so then their phone is off or they blocked ur #.

    I don't know how to fix this I honestly don't.

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    You say you don't know what to feel. How do you currently feel, though, whether or not it's what you're wanting to feel at the minute?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Xenonight2 View Post
    You say you don't know what to feel. How do you currently feel, though, whether or not it's what you're wanting to feel at the minute?
    I feel as though, I just ruined a really good friendship.

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    Dang man, that's a really rough situation to be in. Sex complicates every relationship, especially when both parties are drunk and not on the same page. I would imagine her ignoring you doesn't feel so great, either. What have you been saying to her?

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    Quote Originally Posted by TreyTrey12 View Post
    I said I wouldn't smash cause I don't see you like that plus I've known you long enough that you kinda look like a dude now to me.
    Long story short we ended up having sex anyways.
    And they lived happily ever after!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Phenoca View Post
    And they lived happily ever after!
    LOL

    Your relationship with her is what you make it. If you want to get over it, then put in the effort to get over it. If you want to continue to think your friendship is over because you put your dick in her, then continue to think that way. That train-of-thought will end the friendship all on its own.

    Of course, you can't control what she thinks or feels. All you can do is let her know that you're not interested in having sex again and that you'd like to be cool friends still. Play chill and say something like:

    "Hey, I know you may not be okay with what happened between us, but I just want to let you know that I'm still cool with you and I don't think we should let it tarnish a solid friendship. We were horny and we had sex. We should acknowledge that there's nothing that can change that, but it also doesn't have to turn into something negative if we choose not to let it be.

    I hope to hear from you and I still care about you as my homie."

    Or whatever comes from your fart.

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    Just tell her you and your guy friends give each other blowies and handies all the time, so it's really no biggie, or at worst a step up?

    Tbh. why do you feel it's your responsibility to do anything? She had to remind you that she is a woman... You were seducing nobody. She ****ed up, it's on her to deal with it and to fix it, if she ain't some horrible person who can't make her own decisions and be real about it and deal with what comes of it.
    Last edited by Ronin; 01-21-2016 at 01:54 AM.

    Stay frosty.

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    Ronin is right. Ronin is always right. A girl's brain is like 90 browser tabs versus a male brain that's like 5 browser tabs.

    It takes them a while to process all that information before deciding to act while you're sitting there slamming F5 expecting that answer to come with each refresh.

    My words of wisdom to add: Men are FAR more likely to say the wrong thing then right thing in situations with women. When in doubt, playing it quiet, especially in the short term, is the safer bet.
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    somehow I don't remember reading Trey asking for any advice from ya'll

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    i hope things go ok, trey

    ty potat ilu :3

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    Time is probably your best cure atm.


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    At least now you know. If you didn't go there, you'd never have known. And you wouldn't have gone there. Having gone there has got to be worth something? After all, you went there.
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    People have sex with people they do not love and want to spend their life with?
    Gross.

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    This is just post-nut doubts nagging you. Maybe both of you. She's probably thinking the same things you are.

    Best thing to do is tell her it was fun and it doesn't have to change anything.

    Stop worrying about it, soon it'll be the shadowy outline of a dead tree in a foggy sea of memories.

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    Quote Originally Posted by yuniuninuniun View Post
    People have sex with people they do not love and want to spend their life with?
    Gross.
    People still believe in love and want to spend their entire life with the same person?
    Gross.
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    In between context in the story. Despite being drunk you still remember pretty good detail of what happened. So you had some type of train still running your decision. Seems either you didn't actually see her the way you thought or both of you was just horny atm.

    Despite being drunk, I don't think you were drunk enough to not have control of yourself. Unless it was the half and half point where you partly blackout.

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    I think you're only choice to accept responsibility and marry her.
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    Keep sending her dick pics via snapchat until she blocks you.

    Also I totally thought this was gonna be about you banging a dude from the title.

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    Quote Originally Posted by TreyTrey12 View Post
    So I've been pretty close in terms of friendship, since my high school days with this girl, who is a stud/tomboy. I mean close close as in, she's literally wing manned for me at the club, we drink together, kick it etc. I've never looked at her as a female but more of a homie.
    The Sunday night we was kicking it since neither one of us worked Monday cause of MLK day. We were originally supposed to pre game at my place with some other friends and then hit up a night lounge but it was cold as shit and no one came through so we stayed in and finished the bottle we had.
    I got up to get some more juice to wash the alcohol aftertaste that was lingering on my tongue and when I sat down I sat kinda close to her. We got to drunk talking for a min, and she said "you know, I'm straight fem (oxymoronic?) but if there was any 'n word' I'd let hit it'd be you" "you been the a1 since day 1"
    I said I wouldn't smash cause I don't see you like that plus I've known you long enough that you kinda look like a dude now to me.
    Long story short we ended up having sex anyways. Right there in my living room.


    But I don't know what to feel. We haven't talked since and when we woke up she ducked off quick. No texts or anything. Like I feel bad cause that's my legit friend. I've told stuff I wouldn't tell anyone. She texted me earlier today said she's doing some thinking and that's it. I think her phone is off cause she has an iPhone and if you message someone with an iPhone it lets you know if it's been delivered or not. If it doesn't say so then their phone is off or they blocked ur #.

    I don't know how to fix this I honestly don't.
    lol, good to know you are the same.

    Just back off, and let her think. Let her get her head on straight. THEN have a talk bout it. Knowing you, just be quiet at first and let her talk. Bounce off what she says. I'm sure its awkward as shit, so let the awkward die down a little before running into the middle of it and muckin the whole thing up with awkardness. Shit def is changed, but it don't have to end.

    If ya can't, just say all is cool, talk when ya are ready to talk.
    Last edited by Rebuzzal; 01-21-2016 at 08:23 PM.
    Too much agreement kills a chat.



  21. #21
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    I dunno. Sometimes girls prefer to let the guy initiate post-conversation in order not to scare them away, because that's what media teaches us. "Don't be too overbearing or he's gonna run!" You know? If it were me, I would want him to either let me know the very next day if he's okay with what happened or not. Although, I can do the same myself, and I should if I want resolution, but as I said, I have more of the mind-set that I'd come across as the overbearing female-stereotype in that specific situation.

    Then again, I would never have casual sex with someone I wasn't in a relationship with. All women are different and she is probably nothing like me. The best you can really do is follow your intuition. It will lead you to Oz.

    Also, sorry if my advice is unwanted, since you did not ask for it. I assume you are interested in solutions to your problem. If not, then feel free to disregard my suggestions. I don't mind. =^^=

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hello Kitty View Post
    Also, sorry if my advice is unwanted, since you did not ask for it. I assume you are interested in solutions to your problem. If not, then feel free to disregard my suggestions. I don't mind. =^^=
    @this and Xeno:
    Yea well, he wasnt asking for advice, but his post? Begging for it.

    I mean, I duno, we are all probably not going to turn his situation into a peachy fuzfest by some comon sense foolery, but since when has it become normal to assume people will mentally desintegrate, when they are not adressed in speech that is bubble wraped?

    No one seemed to enjoy that he is in a bad spot. People might verbalize that diffrently, but heck, that's live and asking them to sugarcoat every ****ing thing is akin to banning honesty and genuine interaction. I for my part rather have someone hate my guts but know what I am about. I cant care a sec for finding the perfect expression for the whole sake of being "nice".

    If you only let the smart folks who are experianced, wise, fair, impartial and defenitely helpful speak, you get one of two:
    - an idiot trying to acomplish this will simply demand an echo chamber
    - anybody else will be justly feel overwhelmed by the unmeetable demands and what remains is silence on every topic.

    Detour returning to the thread: Relationships (no matter if intimate or not) are either messy or superficial. Trey wouldn't be in any trouble of loosing anything, if the relationship wasn't meaningful. In the most mundane way thats either why everything already is broken or will probably fix itself. Why? Because he in my humble opinion showed already that he had what it takes by makjng himself vulnerable. We are probably a bit like that fairytale world from the "wild things". Fun to play with, but a mess endeavour, full of accidents and occasionally pain and trauma. So be it. That's life. I say, no to the death of speaking ones mind.

    @Trey, regardless of what I might sound like, gl. You gona be ok, but I also hope you can get your friend back.

    @Xeno: feel free to correct me, if I am beung an idiot, but since I always am going to be stubborn like one regardless, pls be convincing. Im not going to eat your bitter pill on faith alone.

    @Oisterman:
    I always thought stud was a word that meant male hooker. Thats kind confusing to me now.
    Last edited by Ronin; 01-21-2016 at 11:01 PM.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ronin View Post
    @Oisterman:
    I always thought stud was a word that meant male hooker. Thats kind confusing to me now.
    1) a small piece of metal, often bolt shaped (seen often on belts and such)
    2) a small earring with a rounded top often used for piercing and worn by both men and women.
    3) a male animal desirable for breeding (like a racehorse)
    4) a guy who is popular with the ladies and has no trouble getting laid, and who may also be attractive-looking, but not always. (often used jokingly, see example)
    5) a "butch" lesbian
    6) an upright support in the wall of a building to which sheathing, drywall, etc., are attached.
    7) a rivet or crosspiece in each link of a chain cable.
    8) an establishment where horses or other domesticated animals are kept for breeding.
    9) a form of poker in which the first card of a player's hand is dealt face down and the others face up, with betting after each round of the deal.
    10) decorate or augment (something) with many studs or similar small objects.

    Old English studu, stuthu ‘post, upright prop’; related to German stützen ‘to prop.’ The sense ‘ornamental metal knob’ arose in late Middle English.

    Old English stōd, of Germanic origin; related to German Stute ‘mare,’ also to stand.

    all the definitions I could find.
    Last edited by Rebuzzal; 01-22-2016 at 06:19 AM.
    Too much agreement kills a chat.



  24. #24
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    maybe she like you way to much but never have the guts to tell you because she worries you say no. drinking too much shows the true feeling person has

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hello Kitty View Post
    Sometimes girls prefer to let the guy initiate post-conversation in order not to scare them away, because that's what media teaches us. "Don't be too overbearing or he's gonna run!" You know?
    Pretty much. Guys are expected to initiate. Marrying someone you have sex with is generally good manners. Or offering to.

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