Gaming Weapons You Wish You Had In MMOs
By Kei Beneza (dividelife), OnRPG Journalist
How many years have you played video games? Yes, include the years that you spent on your console and your handheld. Done with your nostalgia now? Then relive your moments of victory after killing the most badass boss you’ve had the misfortune to meet since. Admit it, aside from Mario’s epic toilet plunger, the weapons we have for mass destruction or world peace in games today are just pretty generic.
In regular MMORPGs, there’s the generic sword for the tank types; the staff and scepter for the spellcasters; and bows and daggers for the rogues. There are also variations of javelins, maces, claws and (finally!) guns and rifles, which are usually the weapons of choice in FPS games. It seems like armaments are being underestimated in game development.
Since we’re on the topic, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to make a pretty suggestive article on some weapons that you would most probably love to wield against your worst nightmare in an MMO. Here’s a short list of some inspiring, crazy or unforgettable weapons that should be in your favored MMO inventories.
Lancer Assault Rifle AKA The Chainsaw Machinegun (Gears of War)
Preferably for: Melee Characters
The Lancer Assault Rifle is Gears of War’s trademark and default weapon. It can fire like crazy from a distance and is ten times deadlier up close. Think about it! If you had this equipped during one of your leveling sessions, then those murlocs would be sure to keep their distance. What about a Chainsaw gun wielding Paladin? That could work! Once he casts that protection spell, your best bet is to run away, unless you want to paint Tarren Mill with your character’s blood. Rogues, Thieves and Burglars would also find this awesome tool useful as they can probably 1-hit-kill anyone after going invisible; then again, who needs invisibility when you can just scare the buhjeezus out of your opponent by running towards him with a growling cutter gun? XD
Testing: Lancer in Action
The Plants (Plants Vs Zombies)
Preferably for: Nature classes like Druids
If these green demons can keep the undead out of your hair then they are probably even more effective on living things. Plants vs Zombies served as our training camp for the upcoming zombie apocalypse, but before we fight off those bald brain-eaters, we should probably enjoy these weapons inside MMOs. Totems? WHO NEEDS EM? Sentry guns? Too friggin’ expensive. If you’re going to manipulate the powers of nature, at least do so with style and splendor. Summon the epic pea shooter and make those PVP retards eat a whole shard of manure. Think about it! If you can summon at least three sunflowers next to your killer tomatoes then you’ll have all the mana you need. Potions? Bah, those merchants can just go bankrupt for all I care.
Red Queen (Devil May Cry 4)
Preferably for: Anyone who’s not a spellcaster 😛
Do you want a sword that not only looks cool but also possesses an awesome name that would keep you up all night while rubbing it with metal polish? Introducing the Red Queen! This sexy blade is handled just like any other blade but with a twist. While others just let you hack and slash like a Dynasty Warriors game, the Red Queen lets you do it with style and attitude. It possesses so much attitude you’ll probably be chosen as the next Power Ranger. The secret to the blade’s awesome performance lies in its motorcycle like switch that revs every time you twist the handle. So what else can it do?
You tell me: Red Queen in Action [Around 3:56 onward]
The Blades of Chaos (God of War)
Preferably for: Anyone! (It can kill Gods so might as well use it!)
When was the last time we even saw a long ranged whip-type weapon? Well, there are Dekaron’s whips, but does it really satisfy your hunger for blood and gore? My friend, what you need is a healthy dose of the Blades of Chaos! Crafted to god-like perfection and once held by the actual God of War himself, this weapon is definitely not your average bastard sword. Linking both swords together is an awesome ancient Greek chain that won’t shatter regardless of how hard you swing it. Not impressed? The blades are also engulfed in flames every time the bearer uses them. The catch? The chains are to be seared on the wearer’s arms (Yeouch!) if ever they wish to wield its power. Want to kill a God? Endure the pain, and bring in the bloodbath.
See what I mean?: Blades of Chaos in Action
The LandShark Gun (Armed and Dangerous)
Preferably for: EVERYONE
Last but not the least, we have Armed and Dangerous’ Land Shark Gun. First of all, I’d like to say that this weapon PWNS everything listed above. Honestly, I’ve yet to see anything that can beat the awesome might and magic of this life-taking masterpiece. It looks like a rocket launcher, but what does it launch? REAL LIVE LAND SHARKS! No, your eyes aren’t deceiving you. If sharks on water are as scary as hell, then I have no idea how much you’ll crap in your pants after being targeted and chased by land-swimming sharks straight from a cannon. I’m really sorry for not being able to post a picture. I really think it’s best that you see what it can do with your own eyes.
Need I say more?