By Mohammed Afzal (MageMoa), Onrpg journalist
In this new and modern world, gaming has become a noble hobby which you cannot avoid. It is something we all must have experienced at least once in our life. Massive Multiplayer Online games have taken gaming to a next level. People are willing to ruin their social life and marry with an unknown player. Others spend their whole income to customize their character. Some people don’t even eat when they are not able to play their precious game. But there is more than that. You would expect that these extreme gamers are the lowest level of every MMO, but that’s not true… Each MMO has its own storyline. These storylines are mostly filled with unique and amusing characters, but there are some exceptions. I’d like to warn you before reading the next part of this article. It may contain some irritating characters which might ruin your love for MMOs and which might lead to a visit to the therapist.
Dream Of Mirror Online – The Chasm King
The Chasm King is one of the most annoying MMO characters. He is one of the first NPCs you will meet in DOMO and he will be your personal guide until level 20. He is supposed to be a helpful guide, which he isn’t. If you decide to ignore one of his calls, he will stalk you through the whole game and he will do everything to talk to you! He is the reason why many people quit a great game like DOMO. How would I get rid of this Chasm King? Well, that is really easy! His name says it already. Chasm is another word for gorge, so I would push him off a cliff into a gorge!
Another thing that bothers me in DOMO must be the cows. The cows in DOMO aren’t regular cows. Whenever you talk to them, they will always answer with “Meow”. This is incredibly weird and annoying. Has the intelligence on the internet sunk that low that developers of a game can’t see the difference between a cat and a cow? But that’s not everything! Almost all the animals in DOMO have some kind of an identity crisis. Another example would be the ducks. The ducks in DOMO neigh… You see, I understand it if you mix “meow” and “moo”, but if you can’t see the difference between “quack” and “neigh”, then there’s something really, really, really wrong… How would I get rid of these ‘identity crisis animals’? Well, that’s not really hard. I would create a big event in DOMO and allow all the members to have a nice dinner together. The menu will be: Duck, cow and bull.
His name says enough. This creepy NPC which can be found in Home III, one of the towns in Shin Megami Tensei; Imagine, will freak you out from the beginning of the game. Snakeman can be seen as the main NPC for the storyline quests. He is supposed to guide you through the game and help you become stronger, but this NPC has clearly some other intentions… He is a thief. He gives you a nice pet at the beginning of the game and you will be allowed to take care of this wounded ‘dog/lion’. And then he will take it back from you when the pet is strong again. He basically makes you take care of his little pet, which is as creepy as he is, and then he will just take him back while leaving you with a demonic red dog. How would I get rid of him? Well, you don’t have to. Just send him on a vacation with two nice girls and he’ll be fine and you’ll never see him again.
We are living in the 21st century and everything has changed. There are new gadgets, new television shows, new games and new hypes. Luna Online is a game with cute graphics which mostly targets young children. You would think that the game is alright since it has a helpful community and nice GMs. Sadly, this is not quite true. The problems with Luna Online start right when you run the game. The pop-up of the game shows us shocking material, especially for younger children. One of the backgrounds of the pop-up screen has two hugely breasted girls, which are still minors, showing off in their swimsuits. Sadly, that’s not everything. When you enter the game, you’ll notice many loading screens and NPCs with breast implantations. This could ‘affect’ younger children and it is really disturbing to see this when you are trying to play the game. How to get rid of them? That’s a hard one since I’m not allowed to harm minors. I would just poke them with a pushpin and I would put some clothes on them.
A small green creature called Ringo asks for your help in WoW. He seems all right and every kind soul would help him and accept his mission. Ringo wants you to escort him to some place. While escorting him, you will be attacked and you have to protect him. This doesn’t sound like a hard job, but it is. This small, ugly green devil faints of heat whenever he feels like it. This is incredibly annoying and it will make it almost impossible to finish the quest since you will have to revive him in the most annoying places. You would think that I would come up with a complex but effective way to get rid of him, but I wouldn’t bother about it. Just smash him with a big hammer and you will never have to see this little monster again. Do you want to finish the quest before smashing him with a hammer? Then I would recommend you to freeze him with an ice spell and carry him on your mount. When the quest is done, you can smash his ice sculpture with the big hammer without making the carpet dirty. Now that’s effective!
There are many other characters in MMOs that are pretty disturbing. I don’t want to remind you of them, since you might hate me for doing that. Other than MMOs, there are many single player RPGs with unpleasant characters. There is one I would like to mention, because it is simply the winner. The characters I want to mention are the fairies in the Zelda/Link games. These fairies keep bothering you every minute by screaming “Hey listen!” over and over. This freaks you out and you would like to punch your fairy in its small face to make it shut up. Despite your utter frustration, this is not possible and you will have to live with the fact that this little monster will stay with you forever. And here comes my favorite part! How to get rid of this creature? I would split the fairy’s wings from its body and then I would torture it with needles. You have to keep in mind that you will have to tape its mouth before torturing it or else it will keep bothering you.
There will always be games with annoying NPCs. The only way to get rid of them will be to ignore them when they are near you or you could just avoid them whenever you can. If this is impossible, you will have to quit the game and find something else to spend time with. And if you can’t live with that? Well, let your fantasy on the loose and think of your own ways to get rid of these horrible creatures and whenever you will see them ingame, you will enjoy their presence because you know very well how to get rid of them!