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http://www.fmylife.com/
"Today, I was sitting in a bar when a ghetto looking man walked in, wearing massive black sunglasses. I leaned over to my friend and said "Sun never sets on a badass huh?" Then I noticed the walking stick. FML"
LMFAO.
Share yours.
Lol these are good, I'm reading em
Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML
LMAOAOAOA THIS website saved my day, I swear.
or this one "Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML"Quote:
Originally Posted by MariaMariaaa
Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML
EL-OH-EL
Quote:
Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a *******. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML
This one's great.
I have found out what i'm doing during work.
I love you Maria xD
Just so I can clear things up: What does FML mean?
"Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML"
@Jakuza
**** my life.
Today, I took a picture for my photography course of a random adorable couple kissing in the snow. Later, upon closer inspection, I realized that the guy was my boyfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years sent me a text messages saying, "Don't worry I'm gonna break up with her soon. Love you." FML
i ran for the bathroom to take a dookie and it was all full. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML
~ Wow.
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.Quote:
Originally Posted by `doll
I was JUST about to post that one.
"Today, while my 4 year old nephew was hugging me, he stepped back and declared, "Auntie, my Pee-do is hard, but it will go away." FML"
Today, I was passing a building and saw a fat, ugly person inside. I started to laugh and noticed it was my reflection. FML
HAHAHAHAAHAHHA
LMFAO,
best thread ever.
"Today, my friend's son asked me how much coke costs in this place. I told him "about a dollar?" He said "wow, that's really cheap for blow." He's 10. FML"
my heads and eye tilted to the girls *** as she walked by. when i took back to normal position, i saw my friend staring at me.
my mother typed in www. and found all the dirty history links.
Today, my 6 year old son says to me: 'You smell nice daddy'. Surprised, but very flattered I thank him, he adds 'I like the smell of cheese!'. FML
"Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML"
LOLLLLLLLLLL
Trule epic. Jack Bauer wins the internet, over and over and over again.Quote:
Today, I was watching 24 and realized that Jack Bauer had gotten more action in 5 hours than I had in 5 months. FML
"Today, I ran out of underwear and so I went into my mom's drawer to borrow a pair from her. It was then that I found out my mom uses the same vibrator as I do. FML"
Saw that on the website and ****in' lol'd.
Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her itunes was on random. "**** me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML
LOLOLOL
HAHAHAHAHaQuote:
Originally Posted by `doll
-dead-
i lolledQuote:
Originally Posted by Civil
i nearly did that to my girlfriend though
her name is Danna right under Dad so i nearly send it then noticed
Here's my own.
I thought I had work today but when I got there I realized I wasn't working, 'cause the manager gave half my shifts away to a chick who's about to quit in a week. FML.
Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "**** you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably would like to." FML
Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her exiting her room....my electric tothbrush in her hand. FML
Today, I was walking my son to school. After yelling at him for not looking where he's walking, I grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to me. Not paying attention, I walked him right into a light pole. FML
3 i thought were funny
edit: found this one
Today, my tennis coach showed up to practice in an all white outfit. I exclaimed, "You're looking very white today!" He's African American. FML
This site is made of win...
Best one on the site:
Today, I have been reading FML for 12 hours. FML
(I haven't any of my own because my life is dull, with a capital D-U-L-L.)
Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced *****. FML.
LOLOLOL
This site is hot i jus sign up so i can share some of my life's **** up stories lol
Here's one I made up.
I knew what FML stood for **** my life before I even clicked on the link :(
thats common knowledge thoughQuote:
Originally Posted by Jacksterson
i use that at school and stuff
i speak in letters like if i got to leave i say B 2 B and i've said FML when failing a test and shit
it may be in junior high.Quote:
Originally Posted by Thalamast
I'm in college, hardly common at all where I'm at anyways. i've never seen the letters "FML" I almost thought it said fail / fma.
anyways, another one.
Quote:
Today, I found a guy getting out of my car with my GPS. He started running and I chased him. We eventually reached a dead end and he gave it back to me. I took it back from him and said, "Sorry..."
^^^Lol!Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverBladeZ06
Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML
Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML
Today I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang. Obviously, I let it go to voicemail. At the very moment I was about to *** I heard my mum's voice on my voicemail: "Hi sweetheart". FML