An Australian man was having coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe, when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him.
The Australian politely ignored the American, who, nevertheless started up a conversation.
The American snapped his gum and said, "Do you Australian folk eat the Whole bread?"
The Australian frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and replied, "Of course."
The American blew a huge bubble. "We don't. In the States we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle them, transform them into croissants, and sell them to Australia."
The American had a smirk on his face. The Australian listened in silence.
The American persisted. "D'ya eat jam with the bread?"
Sighing, the Australian replied, "Of course."
Cracking his gum between his teeth, the American said, "We don't. In the States we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds and left-overs in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell it to Australia."
The Australian then asked, "Do you have sex in the States?"
The American smiled and said, "Why, of course we do."
The Australian leaned closer to him and asked, "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"
"We throw them away, of course." replied the American.
Now it was the Australian's turn to smile. "We don't. In Australia, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to the United States. That's why it's called Wrigley's."
I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next". They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals.
