True Confessions of an Asshole

Dear Diary:

Today I got in trouble for talking about sex in my support group and I felt really bad about it cause apparently some of the other pussies in the group were ***** and whatever and like the guy in the middle (I call him dick face) sent me out of the room. I don't know why Mister Dick Face and the others hate me so much! I try so hard to be cool and they didn't even like oh my god want to listen to my cover of Justin Bieber's "Baby" with my mother doing Ludacris's part. What a bunch of douchebags! I so sound like him. Yeah. Ye~ah!

Long story short I want to kill myself.

What's with your addiction to sex?

Very strange.

I don't have an addiction to sex the act! I have an addiction to talk about sex and bizarre sexual fantasies.

:( I'm so lonely.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Groteske

Dear Diary:

Today I got in trouble for talking about sex in my support group and I felt really bad about it cause apparently some of the other pussies in the group were ***** and whatever and like the guy in the middle (I call him dick face) sent me out of the room. I don't know why Mister Dick Face and the others hate me so much! I try so hard to be cool and they didn't even like oh my god want to listen to my cover of Justin Bieber's "Baby" with my mother doing Ludacris's part. What a bunch of douchebags! I so sound like him. Yeah. Ye~ah!

Long story short I want to kill myself.

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You can't be in a support group and not be a *****.

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Originally Posted by bonneau_14

You can't be in a support group and not be a *****.

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Duh! But some pussies are just way more pussified.

lol, support groups.

I try to be serious with you guys and this is what I get?!

:D Love to hate you, all.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Groteske

Duh! But some pussies are just way more pussified.

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I couldn't tell if you considered yourself one in the original post. I apologize for calling you out on it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by bonneau_14

I couldn't tell if you considered yourself one in the original post. I apologize for calling you out on it.

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No I do. I consider myself a troubled individual with serious depression and that's why I chose to go to group therapy. I just hate that I can't be myself fully without having to tone myself down for others. It's funny how being punished for who I am can cause me to feel so terrible.

I'm sort of technically part of a support group I guess :-/

what's yours for?

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Originally Posted by shadowsworn

I'm sort of technically part of a support group I guess :-/

what's yours for?

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General stuff. There are druggies and bipolar people and just anyone who is depressed.

What's yours for?

speech problem.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by shadowsworn

speech problem.

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Oh I see, that is interesting.

What sort of speech problem do you have?

severe stutter :(

btw if anyone wants to help me with my computer issues you get extra awesome mod-given rep

http://www.onrpg.com/boards/168603.html

/hijack

edit: you also get a cookie and my undying gratitude!

...

*gloomily shuffles away for the night*

Dear Diary:

Today, I kicked a kid down some stairs, it was pretty rad.
Suddendly his older brother showed up and chased me for half a mile, I finally lost him when I ducked into a back alley. I sighed a sigh of relief and walked out thinking he was gone, but he wasn't he grabbed me by throat and threw me to the ground and began beating me savagely, he beat me to the point of death, later my mom found out and was kinda scared. She said "you're to your auntie and uncles in bel-air." I whistled for a cab and when it came near, the license plate said Fresh and there was dice on the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I though "Nah forget it, yo home to bel-air!" I pulled up to a house about seven or eight, and i yelled to the cabby "Yo holmes, smell ya later." I would look at my kingdom, i was finally there, to sit on my throne as the prince of bel-air.

dear diary, I finally solved my computer problems. It turned out my computer can't handle updated drivers.

so now my worry is replaced by rage at this stupid ****ing *****-*** gaping-**** piece of mother****ing shit. **** you to ****ing hell, computer.

Dear Diary,

Today I cleaned my yard, it was dirty and full of leaves, our lame yard workers didn't do anything in like forever apparently. We had to take upon ourselves to do so. Afterward I talked to someone special, then I logged on OnRPG and learned that shadowsworn has a speech problem, he apparently severely stutters, I used to stutter really badly, I kicked the habit at a younger age, but when I am laughing, or nervous, I stutter quite a bit. I personally wish shadowsworn the best with his problem.

thanks! .

Wow Groteske seems like you and I have the same problem. It started by my teacher who kept insisting to read book instead of comics. So, I pick up a book and turn out they have sex scenes in words which made me aroused. When I was 16 my teacher made me wrote a essay about 'internet'. I begin to write how bad the internet is with pornographic and stuff like hentai. I even tease the reader by describing how certain porn scene is. That was the longest and least mistake of an essay I ever wrote.

I'm in an Asian school where there's suppose to have moral value. Writing that actually is a suicidal case which lead me to the principle office and my parents will be noted. Which lead to also cane, belts and all the different kind of weapons waiting at home with 9000 councilor and support groups. Too bad that teacher didn't see this as a problem and she thought I was just a bored teenager.

Dear Diary, I've been fantasizing about you. You're one sexy muthaphucking bish. I hope one day you will come to life and **** me.

Dear Urahara, did you ever take a look under your bed?
Expect some madness tonight.

Your diary

You know what feels good when you feel lonely?

cutting yourself

Dear Diary:

I throw my Spanish in the air sometimes, saying eyyo, NO COMPRENDO.

Cool story bro.

I started digging a tunnel yesterday, but got sick of that shit when I realized I didn't really need a tunnel to get anywhere. Then the power went out and I was on a night adventure. But then it came on like 20 minutes later -_- I didn't even get to do anything fun.

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Originally Posted by Oisterboy

I started digging a tunnel yesterday, but got sick of that shit when I realized I didn't really need a tunnel to get anywhere. Then the power went out and I was on a night adventure.

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ily Oister. <3

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Originally Posted by MrTingTing

Dear Urahara, did you ever take a look under your bed?
Expect some madness tonight.

Your diary

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My bed look like this:
http://images3.souq.com/pass_to_get_...808.jpg&seed=1

So, basically I live under my bed.

You guys don't deserve a happy ending.

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Originally Posted by TheSkald

ily Oister. <3

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Haha <3 ain't nothin' but a G thing.

i tried to overcome being gay by going to a support group, didn't turn out well

so here i am, still gay

I thought this thread would consist of monologues written from the point of an actual asshole.

I am disappoint.

Here's a solution to your support group problems: Blast them with piss.

I have an exam Tuesday.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Xenonight2

I have an exam Tuesday.

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What kind of exam the fun kind involving a glove or the boring kind involving a paper?

Essay exam.

This is a weird thread alright.


http://static.funnyjunk.com/gifs/cfd8a803_838b_1a1e.gif

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Raiyne

I thought this thread would consist of monologues written from the point of an actual asshole.

I am disappoint.

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Dear diary:

Today was the typical routine. I woke up in darkness, like I'm under some huge sheets or something. Then things got light, but like it always does when that happens, it started raining pretty hard. After I dried, things got pretty dark again. Not too much was going down for a while, I got a little gassy, but no big. My life is so boring. Then I got that rumbling feeling in my insides; I got to the loo and let 'er rip. A little while later it was bed time. MLIA

Dear diary:

I woke up this morning and now my dorm room has 4 extra chairs in it, and no one can explain where they came from. Though the storage bin for the donation in the back of the community center was broken into...**** my life.



scorpio

Dear diary,
Mood: Apathetic

My life is spiraling downward. I couldn't get enough money to go to the Blood Red Romance and Suffocate Me Dry Concert. It sucks cause they play some of my favorite songs like 'Stab My Heart Because I Love You' and 'Rip Apart My Soul' and of course, 'Stabby Rip Stab Stab'. And it doesn't help that I couldn't get my hair to do that flippy thing either; like that guy from that band could do, some days you know...