People like beauty, and often times value it more than most other things. What do you guys think about this?
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People like beauty, and often times value it more than most other things. What do you guys think about this?
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I think "average" girls are hotter than "hot" girls. If that makes sense.
No I understand what you're saying, I end up liking people because of personality. However most people I know are just focused on looks.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wicked315
Blame the media, to be honest, everybody expects a girl to portray a striking resemblance to Megan Fox, or Angelina Jolie, or if you're a bit younger, Selena Gomez. It's a real big shame that the majority of this world wants a girl like Kim or something. I prefer my women just average, with the best personality, the ones that can relate to me, not the one that is packing DD's and has an amazing ***, shit's just extras if she has it. Actually breasts are pretty unattractive past C's. But now I am rambling.
Funny thing is, it's not just the guys but most of the girls too. I mean, every guy wants to look like they're a movie star and every girl wants to look like they're a super model. (By every I just mean a lot, not exactly 100%). There's just the idea of looks in society and yes it is the media's fault.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wicked315
Everybody on the planet is shallow. As humans we naturally have preconceived preferences to who we are attracted to, who we keep as friends, etc.
Society also plays a role in this, but I think saying "some people are shallow" is bit of a cop out.
By shallow I mean looks alone. No actions or ideals just looks. Idk I guess I'm just disguested at the idea of people needing to look attractive or wanting someone solely based on looks
But "attractive" is a subjective term, people you may find attractive, others might not (and it isn't always about looks either) which is why calling people shallow because they don't see beauty the same way you do is a fairly simple way of looking at it.Quote:
Originally Posted by XGrave
this is exactly what I always say :3Quote:
Originally Posted by olaph
I actually know one person who isn't shallow at all :-/ She's goodlooking herself, yet she dates a dude that wears make up and still looks like someone who's face got bashed in. He's the hope of all ugly guys :-/Quote:
Originally Posted by olaph
The following are the kind of girls I am attracted to, the ones who are real girl-next-door types, there are a few others, but these are my top two:
http://www.nndb.com/people/613/00004...lea-duvall.jpg
http://www.exposay.com/celebrity-pho...als-BcwfDT.jpg
Its because its easy to look at a person and dismiss them.
First judgments are first judgments. Anyone who says they don't walk down the street approving of person A and disapproving of person B immediately after seeing them is a dirty liar.
Now, how FAR you take that initial reaction to someones appearance is what makes you a shallow person or not.
Everyone makes first impressions and judges books by their covers. If not, we'd constantly be walking around trying to be best friends with every single person. Odds are, if a person has a similar style to yours, you're going to be more compatible than a person with a style that is the polar opposite.
Sure its not ALWAYS true, but if we're being realistic, most of the time it is.
^this.Quote:
Originally Posted by olaph
Guys are just shallow by genetics. It's a fact of life. I'm sure you can train yourself out of it, but its genetics and nature to see physical appearance first. Where still animals, and we still have basic reproductive instincts that you may not be aware of, that are always at play whether you think they are or not.
So what your saying is if you, personally, find a girl physically repulsive, but personality wise amazing, you'll still **** her?Quote:
Originally Posted by XGrave
There's some girls I don't find attractive at all, but some guys soil their pants at the sight of them. Sure, society tells you what you SHOULD find attractive, but its not always the case.
Like Cy-kill up there. I find that girl not attractive at all. Yet he does. Finding people unattractive doesn't mean someone is shallow. I'm not even sure if shallow exist. I think its just a word people made up to make themselves feel better, because 100% of people wont date 100% of the people. Sex is an integral part of relationships and if your not physically attracted to your partner that will make sexy time extremely difficult for you.
Even if someone bases a partner SOLELY on appearance, that's just their criteria. Find someone else if you can't accept that. There's someone who doesn't, go find them.
To add to my previous post, I initially grew up in the country, so that is why I like the plain jane (aka girl-next-door aka country girl) look, but above all, I like women with a brain, regardless of how they actually look!
The meaning of shallow lies in the deviation from the norm.
No one is "genetically shallow".
Oh yeah, nothing worse than dating a broad that makes you cringe (almost) everytime she opens her mouth.Quote:
Originally Posted by Cy-Kill
Agreed. Its all about preference. Like I know a few guys who like girls that are...larger than normal. Myself, I dont mind average looking in my sense, but honestly, I guess Im more into a girls body. Call that shallow or however you want to call it, but brains and a nice body I like.Quote:
Originally Posted by bonneau_14
Problem is, I don't have a dating or sex life, never had, so I just like women, they however, don't want anything to do with me.Quote:
Originally Posted by bonneau_14
well if you use the definition that liking someone based on looks is shallow, then most males may be genetically shallow.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ronin
70% of those "looks" are questions regarding her health and her mental ability to look after it.Quote:
Originally Posted by PeepPoopPip
That's not a question of shallowness.
Also:
Humans act like birds. The female does pick the mate she prefers. (There are tons of reasons for that)
Guys aren't shallow and guys who think they are picky are actually delusional concerning what their subconscious would make them settle for.
Any guy will settle for any girl as long as she is appearing healthy and fertile.
That's why it's almost impossible to turn a guy of by showing him a naked chick and that's why naked chicks are 10 times more effective in ads than naked dudes.
Guys have no standards whatsoever you can call shallow.
I don't know what all of you are even talking about...
Im not sure what your talking about either....Quote:
Originally Posted by Ronin
no standards? so what your saying is if you have a vagina you should have like 1000 dicks ready at any point? Sure the women ultimately gets to choose, but not every guy will say yes to any girl that says "I suppose I'll choose you." I cant even follow your logic on this one.
Well im not the type of guy to go by looks tbh....i look at the persons personality first but looks are a plus....it wouldn't make a relationship tho. You wouldn't get anywhere if u have standards are only looks unless ur a player or just want to have sex with that person. I mean i did stuff with 4 chicks and 2 of them were skinny and the other to were semi big but all of them i actually liked something about them espically the bigger chicks, even tho my friends always gave me shit about it. One of my best friends is EXTREMELY picky its not even funny.....he hasnt even done anything or even had a gf and he's picker then shit, the kid thinks he can get any girl he wants but in reality he cant cuz his standard is looks. That's a big flaw with us guys.....just don't judge a book by its cover
But im not saying i havent been shallow to a girl before cuz i know i have....ive blown off tons of chicks cuz of there looks. But it doesnt matter now sense i have a gf and im gonna settle down with her
Shallower than the shallow end at your local pool.
i can be very shallow, i do not even want to talk to ugly people. but both guys and girls are shallow too.
http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lx...ibj3o1_500.jpg
Was saying people are seriously prejudiced than anything else. Too look at someone and simply discard them. I'm terrible at explaining things .... (I mean to judge a book by its cover).
well, thats one of those prejudices that will NEVER die. Ill befriend whoever if they are cool, but I wont date someone I'm not attracted to. Its not like I'll outcast you, or treat you like shit, I just wont date you.Quote:
Originally Posted by XGrave
two parts to a romantic relationship
1) physical aspect(sex, etc)
2) emotional aspect( their mental:intelligence, hobbies, interests, outlook etc)
If one of em don't apply, then it wont be a successful relationship. No matter how hard you try. It may be considered prejudice, but its one of those things that just happen, nothing that can be done about it.
This is the same as racial dating. People tend to date within their race, not exactly due to prejudice, its just something that tends to happen. I would date a black, latino, Canadian (god save me), Indian or whatever. But for whatever evolutionary or whatever reason, most people tend to end up with someone within their race, as did I.
It may be viewed as prejudice, but it isn't necessarily a conscious act of prejudice. Sometimes your brain tells you to do shit and you don't notice it.
I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that I hate humans enough as it is.
In fact, if she wants you to she can get you to.Quote:
Originally Posted by PeepPoopPip
Guys will say "I turn down girls left and right".
It's self deception. In reality people report that 2-3 times as many people are interested into them over the number they report being interested in.
So there is a discrepancy that won't work out in reality. Guys aren't turning girls down (leaving aside insecurities and immaturity that might cause them to). Those girls actually never where into them from the start.
Also girls compete with each other rather than that they compete for guys (in general baseline behavior). Guys don't do that. In the end they face completely different situations.
I.....what?Quote:
Originally Posted by Ronin
So that girl that said she liked me, tried to get me to go on a date, but I wouldnt go out with her, didnt actually like me? She just said she did for shits and giggles? If she tried hard enough I would have been magically going out with her with no choice in the matter?
I seriously do not follow what your saying.
Dude I think we are talking about different things.Quote:
Originally Posted by PeepPoopPip
I am not "sharing my wisdom" or something like that, because it isn't about wisdom for starters. You can believe me or not, but there are people whose job it is to find out if people are actually accurately judging their reality or not.
Turns out, people aren't.
That is why I do not really expect much to come out of you telling me what you believe is right from your experiences in the past, see? The whole point is that you don't know what really happened, just what you are making yourself remember.
To be frank and totally honest, the whole idea of dating is a mystery to me. It's a cultural thing and such things are really uncommon where I live.
However:
I take it it's a get to know opportunity, not an offer for sex. She asked you to do your mating dance for her. That really says nothing about the fact if she likes you or not. If she did just let you go like that, you either socially embarrassed her, or she wasn't into you. That she gave you the courtesy of assuming you might have been an option for her and let you know that doesn't make you anything but an option.
People are shallow it's just how it is. That's why fat people end up with other fat people or ugly people. While hot people end up with other hot people. It's human nature to want the best "mate" society is following this pattern.
Shallow is a negative word, isn't it? English isn't my mother-tongue and I never know if I don't actually misunderstand words.Quote:
Originally Posted by Avarwen
I am under the assumption that calling someone shallow is an insult.
That's why I don't get it, that the idea seems to be that everyone is shallow. How does that work out? Can you even call it shallow, just because people like some people more than others?
I assumed shallow means, that you neglect a person without proper reason.
Most of the time there are reasons enough. Just because we usually don't know them doesn't make them invalid.
This thread sounds childish to me. I am not saying that I am "a better person" or a great judge on "how to live life right", but the concept that everyone is shallow feels straight out non sensual to me.
If I am not misunderstanding things, that is.
It is an insult it means you judge someone before you get to know them. For animals this is ok but since humans are " self aware" and like to relate to one another it's seen as less acceptable. Let's be honest no one wants to be the ugly one that no one else wants most people want a mate. This is why being shallow is seen as a bad thing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ronin
We are all shallow some just more so than others and in different ways. In most cases people end up with people like them but there are some cases where this is not true. Being shallow is about judging people before you know them IMO, doesn't always have to involve looks. Some women will date a guy because he has money or because he's famous. Look at flavor flav he's ugly as sin yet women are willing to make fools of themselves for him.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dameo
I have to throw in a word here.Quote:
Originally Posted by hian
If people believe that they are hit on 2,5 times in 2 years (That's already a better statistic than mentioned in The McGraw-Hill higher education social psychology series book on intimate relationships, if I remember right, but the scales should about fit, before anyone goes how he pulls like 7 chicks out of tha club on weekday) and fall for someone once in the period on average, it's likely that 1 of the 2,5 times they have been statistically hit on was a person really hitting on them.
@Dameo:
I was always associating it with social laziness in general and a "yea I did that because I can't be bothered" attitude.
@Avarwen:
But wasn't that one chick that won in the first season only doing it for the prospect of the money and in the very end she suddenly realized that she had to either look that in the face (while naked) or walk, so she walked. I mean she looked like she all of a sudden tried to deal with it and just couldn't.
Once the beauty is gone. They'll go separate ways..
Not gonna lie I have no interest in a relationship right now so yes looks is all I am after right now as a personality doesn't make for a good one night stand (Unless it a freaky personality mixed with a slamming body...then oh yeah). Sorry if that makes my "shallow" but i really don't care as I am close to graduation and want nothing holding me down to this area after I graduate.
In short I believe that being "shallow" is something all young people are for various reasons but hopefully as you get older and your life straightens out you'll become less "shallow" and actually look for a real mate instead of a **** buddy, but who knows? My brother sure isn't becoming less shallow in fact I would say he is becoming more shallow as his career builds.
scorpio
Well ... I ****ed this thread topic up terribly. Shouldn't have ever mentioned relationships. But yes I know the physical appeal is an aspect in a relationship. I was trying to get at the fact whether or not you would even talk to someone based on the way they look (fat, skinny, hot, ugly, punk/goth/emo, preppy, jock, etc)
And no grat if you're looking for a one night stand I don't consider that shallow at all.
Manners and respect go a long way. Lots are too stupid to see this. I try to be respectful to anyone doing the same.Quote:
Originally Posted by XGrave
There are somethings I just can't get passed. Some emo girls can look just fking umbelievable, but the whole emo thing is a real problem for me. Doesn't mean I'm going to pretend they don't exist.
Everyone's concept if hot/ugly and fat/skinny varies in several ways. All these things are no way to justify being a prick anyways.
I'd talk to anyone as friends regardless of how they look. I just may not date them.Quote:
Originally Posted by XGrave
Also, can someone besides Ronin, explain what Ronin is saying, I do not understand what he is saying. mostly the part where if they really want me to, they can get me to. That just seems like a fallacies of some kind. It seems to me that a women can never fail, either she gets you, or she never wanted you.