Chcuk norris jokes

Printable View

06-10-2007, 08:32 AM
shevrock

Chcuk norris jokes

Alright here are a bunch of chuck norris jokes. If your wondering about the text edits i compiled it from a bunch of sites with horrible langueage filters. fell free to add more.

Some kids **** their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can **** his name into concrete.

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the **** he wants.

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he
06-10-2007, 08:35 AM
AthlaS

Is it cold in here or is it just me?

Seriously, Chuck Norris jokes died in like '06.
06-10-2007, 08:40 AM
Creamy

Okay, I give you props for the time you spent but I'm still sick of him. People need to get over their infatuation with Chuck Norris and the Chuck Norris endorsed Total Gym. It is unhealthy.
06-10-2007, 09:28 AM
shevrock

i Agree but smoe of this stuff is funny as hell. He's got to hate it.
06-10-2007, 09:46 AM
AthlaS

Quote:

Originally Posted by shevrock

i Agree but smoe of this stuff is funny as hell. He's got to hate it.

Uhh...well...
06-10-2007, 10:08 AM
nzrock

chuck norris does not forgive.
06-10-2007, 10:08 AM
ReGainMadness

Chuck Norris? Who is Chuck Norris >.>
06-10-2007, 11:11 AM
Dead Eyes

chuck norris doesnt need a watch, he decides what time it is.
06-10-2007, 11:45 AM
QWERTY

That top 10 of Chuck was lame.
06-10-2007, 12:22 PM
Jakuza

Screw Norris, Its all about Hasselhoff!

http://www.stevefriess.com/podcast/hasselhoff.jpg
06-10-2007, 12:50 PM
nzrock

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jakuza

Screw Norris, Its all about Hasselhoff!

http://www.stevefriess.com/podcast/hasselhoff.jpg

oh shi- in b4 hoff spoofs (i saw that on rove, it was so funny lol)
06-10-2007, 01:58 PM
Fullmetal

Nah it's all about Solid Snake watch just take any Chuck Norris or whoever joke,and change the name to Solid Snake,it makes everything 10X better because that's jus how badass Solid Snake is. Watch.

Solid Snake sleeps with a pillow underneath his gun.
06-10-2007, 02:03 PM
replicant

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fullmetal

Nah it's all about Solid Snake watch just take any Chuck Norris or whoever joke,and change the name to Solid Snake,it makes everything 10X better because that's jus how badass Solid Snake is. Watch.

Solid Snake sleeps with a pillow underneath his gun.

Solid Snake stopped being cool when they made Sons of Liberty.
06-10-2007, 02:29 PM
Chill18

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

It's a fact.
06-10-2007, 03:36 PM
Deimos

Quote:

Originally Posted by shevrock

Alright here are a bunch of chuck norris jokes. If your wondering about the text edits i compiled it from a bunch of sites with horrible langueage filters. fell free to add more.

lol dude, some of those i havent heard before. even though its old it still makes me laugh, nice one.
06-10-2007, 05:20 PM
quickhand

"Chuck Norris is soo tough Legend had it that he got a another Fist under his beard" Family Guy.
06-10-2007, 07:09 PM
Bam9125

Forget you guys! ]
Bruce Lee owns all because he taught Chuck Norris.
06-10-2007, 07:14 PM
Oisterman

Chuck Norris drives an Ice Cream truck, covered in human skulls.
06-10-2007, 07:31 PM
Darc

Hahaha.Rawr.

70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his ****.

Chuck Norris invented the internet… just so he had a place to store his porn.

The phrase 'break a leg' was originally coined by Chuck Norris's co-stars in Walker, Texas Ranger as a good luck charm, indicating that a broken leg might be the worst extent of their injuries. This never proved to be the case.

Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.

When God said, "let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'."

Chuck Norris qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.

Most people fear the Reaper. Chuck Norris considers him "a promising Rookie".

When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds", He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Chuck Norris halloween costume he was wearing.
06-10-2007, 07:41 PM
Arcteryx

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bam9125

Forget you guys! ]
Bruce Lee owns all because he taught Chuck Norris.

Damn striaght! Plus, he ripped out Chuck Norris' chest hair.

I'm pretty sure I remember hearing that the "Norris Facts" were originally attributed to Vin Diesel. But these things got old fast when they were popular two years ago (though I have to admit, I did laugh at the video. Chuck Norris reffering to himself in the third person was awesome.)
06-10-2007, 08:14 PM
quickhand

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arcteryx

Damn striaght! Plus, he ripped out Chuck Norris' chest hair.

I'm pretty sure I remember hearing that the "Norris Facts" were originally attributed to Vin Diesel. But these things got old fast when they were popular two years ago (though I have to admit, I did laugh at the video. Chuck Norris reffering to himself in the third person was awesome.)

Oh you mean this :O?Yeah look like they were fighting for real :P

Also thank for closing the thread.It was indeed getting pointless, but hell most general thing around here get pointless too lol.But once in a while there is an interesting post or so.
06-10-2007, 11:10 PM
Arcteryx

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bam9125

Ok, so you think Chuck Norris fought for real? Yeah, ok. At least it Bruce Lee is a real fighter.

Well, both of them were/are really accomplished martial artists. Though, of course, Bruce Lee is the much better martial artist.