Physics of a Hotdog Stand, wedges, etc...

Hello OnRPG. I was thinking today, and I came up with a great idea. Setting up a hotdog stand. We can establish this business in the area where TheJESTERJ lives (Texas). I will invest in the hotdogs, but I require some donations for a stand. We will also need a wedge. Why? Because Texas is famous for it's slopes and I don't want our stand to roll down a hill. A well placed wedge will keep the cart stationary even on a slope.

Now on the subject of what style stand to get...the people of Texas won't think highly of a bunch of buffoons with a mere Chicago style hot dog cart. We will settle for nothing less than professional. It may be expensive, but it will pay for itself in customer satisfaction. :)

If the government tries to meddle in our affairs, we have the high ground. We will store guns in the cart. And if those jack booted thugs ever try to stop us, we'll fight them off while eating hot dogs. We will be unstoppable, and then we can release the bees. It will be like the end of the movie Serenity. We will roll the hot dog carts down the mountain, with bombs inside. We will achieve this plan through one simple action: removing the wedges. Those wedges are a godsend.

Basically, I need donations for a hotdog stand and a wedge. Thank you for your support.

edit: IMPORTANT: Please read updates on posts 3 and 5. Thank you.

This really depends on what season you plan on establishing this hotdog stand. Texas winters are cold as ***** and summers are unpredictable. Around the early months, expect showers upon showers, then intense heat(with some showers mixed in, and tornadoes, hailstorms, etc), and finally, cold as **** weather. Don't expect snow though, though it always somehow manages to snow at least once a year.


Think this through, kid, then get back to me. This isn't some game.

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Originally Posted by TheJESTERJ

This really depends on what season you plan on establishing this hotdog stand. Texas winters are cold as ***** and summers are unpredictable. Around the early months, expect showers upon showers, then intense heat(with some showers mixed in, and tornadoes, hailstorms, etc), and finally, cold as **** weather. Don't expect snow though, though it always somehow manages to snow at least once a year.


Think this through, kid, then get back to me. This isn't some game.

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We aren't getting some second rate wedges here, kid. Weather won't matter because our wedge will keep the hotdog stand in place no matter what the condition is. A wedge can divide men and fuel fires, but it can also give strength and stability if placed just right. It is our understanding of the nature of the wedge that will give us strength over our enemies. It is thinner at one end than at the other. That is the concept of the wedge.

After we survive Texas maybe we can just go into business making wedges. It is a growing market. The bigger the wedge the thicker you can make it. The question is, are we making wedges to divide, or to unite? And the answer is: that is not for us to say. It is for the customer. We are making them for stability. Though if a customer were to purchase one of our wedges (for example a size 40 oak "Fire Breather" wedge, retail price $79.99), they could use it to divide if they so choose. I do not want the government to control wedges as they do with firearms. That is my concern. That is why we must market them as stabilizers and bringers of joy. A well placed wink will let our customers know that we are not there to enforce proper wedge usage. Americans have the right to choose. I think we will corner the wedge market. I believe in the right to wedge choice. That would make a good slogan since wedges are sort of like corners. You can place a wedge in a corner to eliminate corners as well. We are not educated, and that is why we must turn to a tradea not a science. We are not merely traders, we are driving a wedge into life itself. We are dividers. Jester, I don't want a wedge ever to come between us. But we will not allow that. Some people may even try to buy our wedges and use them as ramps to get to higher ground. We cant let that happen.

Lawl. Randomosity...You aren't serious, right?

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Originally Posted by Cereal&Milk

Lawl. Randomosity...You aren't serious, right?

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Of course I'm serious. Now if you don't have any advice or anything useful to contribute, please leave. I'm currently looking to buy this hotdog stand:
http://www.willydogs.com/images/2man...t_WINDOWS1.jpg
It has full 360 degree windows, all around. It creates a great feeling for your staff. It comes with a triple steamer and a BBQ. This hot dog carts system also has hot & cold water with a sink. Large sliding service windows for easy pass through, double propane baskets so you never run out of gas and a cooler to keep your sodas & meat ice cold. Large locking access door for easy in/out and good security. An ample interior working area allows you plenty of storage as well as a comfortable working environment in all weather with a view. Quality, features and price all combine to make this the best choice in fully enclosed, high visibility hot dog carts. It's only a mere $12,999.

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Originally Posted by Cereal&Milk

Nothing says "quality franks" like an enormous hot dog statue right on top of your cart.

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That is true, however those statues are very top heavy. And nothing says "shit dogs" like a broken and tipped over hotdog stand. So if you can get me some information on one that lays horizontal, I will appreciate it.

A good strategy is to analyze the locale since your setting up shop in Texas you should name your goods with cool & clever names that relate to some of the core Texans.

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Originally Posted by Athias

That is true, however those statues are very top heavy. And nothing says "shit dogs" like a broken and tipped over hotdog stand. So if you can get me some information on one that lays horizontal, I will appreciate it.

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I really don't know where you can buy a horizontal one. There's always the idea of making an ornament, or requesting a sculpture.

Well, if all else fails, you can always buy a HotDog costume and dress someone up. :-/

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Originally Posted by Athias

Of course I'm serious. Now if you don't have any advice or anything useful to contribute, please leave. I'm currently looking to buy this hotdog stand:
http://www.willydogs.com/images/2man...t_WINDOWS1.jpg
It has full 360 degree windows, all around. It creates a great feeling for your staff. It comes with a triple steamer and a BBQ. This hot dog carts system also has hot & cold water with a sink. Large sliding service windows for easy pass through, double propane baskets so you never run out of gas and a cooler to keep your sodas & meat ice cold. Large locking access door for easy in/out and good security. An ample interior working area allows you plenty of storage as well as a comfortable working environment in all weather with a view. Quality, features and price all combine to make this the best choice in
fully enclosed, high visibility hot dog carts. It's only a mere $12,999.

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I admire your enthusiasm, I really do, but one thing you have to remember is the customer. While it seems like you really do care for them, one thing the customer rarely thinks about is why they are attracted to a hot dog stand. Is it the convenience? A craving they've had for a while now? Or maybe it was the way it looks.

A wedge, can divide, it can be built up to create a ramp, as you said. It can also create a square. The sturdiest of the shapes. A square is a symbol of equilibrium. Which is what I believe the stand should represent. No longer is the world of hot dog stands separated by a certain area they are from, or what company they represent. We are united.



There are many of you who will think this is all a big joke. Ask yourself this, where do you go when you are tired of McDonalds? Or that chinese place down the lane?



And now, my thought on your stand choice. While it is a bargain for the price, I do have one problem with it. Our employees will think they are constrained by the walls around them. They will think exactly what we do not want them to think. That is why I recommend the less pricey Hummer Cart.

http://www.willydogs.com/images/hummer5.jpg

This will allow us a better chance to, well, show off our wedges. We'll be humble about it though. I feel like, sooner or later, people will ask about it. And we will reply with a smile, and a "Thank you for asking. That wedge is the foundation of this stand. In fact, wedges are the foundation of everything. That wedge is not only there to keep this cart in it's place, but to shine brightly as a symbol of our unification."



That is what I think. Also, I'm getting off for the night.

If you ever want to be good in the hot dog business, you need a good name.

When I go to texas I'll make sure the bring the hot dog hat and the hotdog trophy and the hotdog statue.

Seriously though, if you want me to send them through mail just tell me. I don't know about the statue though.

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Originally Posted by TheJESTERJ

http://www.willydogs.com/images/hummer5.jpg

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how are you going to fit all the bombs inside that? plus it wont roll down the hill of its own accord since it only has one wheel.... unless you arange some sort of gyroscope device to maintain its balance. failing that youd need a suicide pilot to roll with said cart down the hill with aformentioned explosives.

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Originally Posted by Darc

We can also offer Salmon sperm as a topping.

Or the super famous Chuck Norris roll,with a real bull's penis and Capn. Crunch.

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This is not a joke. Though, I do appreciate your, well, "attempt" at being funny. I'm not sure we can let you on the team though, seeing as everything is just a big joke to you. Even then, you'd have to be willing to move to Texas.

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Originally Posted by TheJESTERJ

This is not a joke. Though, I do appreciate your, well, "attempt" at being funny. I'm not sure we can let you on the team though, seeing as everything is just a big joke to you. Even then, you'd have to be willing to move to Texas.

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So you realy ARE making hotdogs?

Wow.Don't forget to brand them with the onrpg url!

LOL


me thinks u shall be owned by authorites

dont u need like a lisence to set up around towns etc? unless ur a icecream trucker

anyway


Will u seriously be able to do this ?

" a meere 12,000" WHICH UR NEVA GONNA GET

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Originally Posted by Cereal&Milk

I really don't know where you can buy a horizontal one. There's always the idea of making an ornament, or requesting a sculpture.

Well, if all else fails, you can always buy a HotDog costume and dress someone up. :-/

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make it in new jersey and i can do that

Perhaps the Hotdog Man takes part in this..>_>