Descolada: Departure

Those of you who know me well, know I once wrote a short story about these people who crash-landed on a desert planet.

Those of you who don't, go here to catch up:

http://jacksterson.deviantart.com/ar...ter-1-61981179

Well anyways. I wrote a preface to that chapter, I think I've gotten my second wave, and I may start writing again.

Which is a good thing, right? Writing is for smart peoples like me <3

Anywho, here is the preface

http://jacksterson.deviantart.com/ar...rture-83637884

You really took the criticism you got from the other thread didn't you XD.
I liked it.

What criticism? I forget what it said xD

Hmm, isn't the Descolada from the Ender series?

That is where I got the name from yes. From what I read, its Portugese for "Un-glue".

I remember that thread... Pretty good improvement.

The main criticism I have is that it's kind of hard to figure out who Josh and Jack are, at least at first. You might try to make it a bit more obvious.