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[MoonlightDarkness]

Alive...

Alive. I am alive...

How many of you felt the numbing cold pain of death? How many of you felt the fear of never waking up? How many of you closed your eyes and heard people telling you to wake up?

Tis a sad thing to throw one's life away. I was so foolish doing so.

February 14, 2009. I will never forget the nightmares I had to face that day.

All because of what? Not being able to go to my "friends, beloved, and God?" Because of them, I nearly died in vain for something selfish and unattainable. Yet when I lied in that empty bed recovering, they never saw me. Not even once. Swallowing more than 90 Tylenol PM pills just for what? Nothing but harming myself and causing worry to my family and those that actually take care of me, the group home.

I wil never forgive the church for all the harm they have done. They ruined my life, from the time they told me to stop my medication to forcing me to do a suicide attempt. I will always say this,

God is dead. I am alive.

http://d35sign.blogspot.com/


I really am having so much stress in my life. It was really foolish to try to commit suicide. My parents are stressed out even more, since they might have lost another, while buring my brother in China. One thing is certain is that I'm fed up with religion and "God" trying to ruin my life. This event just haunts me from time to time, and I really can't say how bad I have to live through life now...

My liver is somewhat damaged due to the overdose, and now I have to live through that...

[xkittyxlicksx]

Religion is not for everyone, it might be easier for you to realize that there is no God. There is no blind faith, or supreme being, for you to fall back on at this moment in time (I cannot speak for the afterlife, of course).

You may feel alone, like this world is choking you. I can't give you any answers to that. But you are not alone in what you are feeling. There are billions of human beings, your condition is most like a frequent one.

Take care of yourself.

[Norrin Radd]

Generally, people in true depression don't have the time to make pseudo-intellectual blog posts.

If you do actually feel that way, though, then my advice is to surround yourself with genuine people who care and will listen.

Snakes are everywhere, watch out for them. They'll see that you're vulnerable and come slithering.

[xkittyxlicksx]

Yeah, Norrin. Real depressed people can't write about their feelings. Fo sho.

[kait0s]

I duno what your going thro, and it sounds like it sucks. But you made it thro.

Your stronger, you learned. This is life.

This is how it works.

You keep marching til you fall. And when that happens, you get up. And if you cant. You crawl.



Try googling world problems or world hunger and prepare for battle.

Your about to find out you have it great. And might even feel weak for the way your acting over certain situations. (might not work in this situation, just fyi i guess)

I do this at times to remind me how silly my problems are.

It helps me laugh at my situation and just move on.

Edit: If real depressed people cant write about their feelings, then Edgar Poe is a fake.

And i want my life back.

[Norrin Radd]

Wait...badgering? I made a comment in one thread, which she took offense to and I apologised for, because I meant none.

In this thread...did she not reply to me first?

Give it a rest. There's drama if you make drama, it's a debate, nothing more.

[Squallion]

Is this a cry for help or is this a joke?

And why does Norrin seem to be badgering kitty in every thread I've seen so far?

cause she's is ex, he's being a **** due to completly imature reasons. Totaly showing evryone he deserves his modship

[xkittyxlicksx]

Leave it to Norrin to make a kid's cry for help post about meaningless symantics.

[power_gamer_6]

cause she's is ex, he's being a **** due to completly imature reasons. Totaly showing evryone he deserves his modship

Uncalled for dude. Completely uncalled for. Leave it to PMs or take it off the boards. You know that.

Leave it to Norrin to make a kid's cry for help post about meaningless symantics.

Semantics. Also, you too. If you guys want to make thinly-veiled attacks at eachother within your posts, do it via PM or take it off the boards completely because it's no one else's business but your own. And you know that as well.

And to everyone else: it's not your business. Don't bring it up again. End of story.

[MariaMariaaa]

cause she's is ex, he's being a **** due to completly imature reasons. Totaly showing evryone he deserves his modship

Ofcourse, he doesn't deserve to be a mod 'cause he's only correcting those who address him first with the wrong information.

What does his relationship have to do with this?

[Bloodline900]

get a hobbie it stops you from thinking of the negatives about your self and doing somthing diffrent. Your not allone i use to suffer from depression then i got my self into football but it's easy said than done.

[xkittyxlicksx]

It's really hard to start caring about things again, anything, really. But even turning to places like onRPG (with our obvious quirks) shows that people give a slight shit, and that fraction of caring means something, doesn't it?

[kait0s]

Depression seems abit common now. Alot of kids use it to get attention and if you are not careful, you can actually listen to yourself so much, you actually get depressed.

Ive had my share of depression. Or from what i believe to be depression. Its nothing like what humans have gone thru in history, but to me, it was monumental.

I wont lie, even the word depression brings back feelings from then and gets my tummy a movin' but you have to stay strong. Keep and STAY positive.

Find your friends.

A time will come when they will most likely need you just as you need them now.

Remind yourself that your apart of a family.

Keep breathing. &move on.

[Manic]

OP, I can send you some self help articles that may get you on the right track if you're interested. I can also offer advice from my personal experiences with clinical depression, but it's staying in PMs.

[TaikoxKashi]

My sister attempted suicide once before.. It scared the crap outta me. Trust me, suicide is NOT the answer.

[Croix]

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

[Norrin Radd]

If you don't like the first 90 minutes of a movie, chances are that it won't perk up before the end and justify itself, so nobody can blame you for walking out.

The same with life.

[Croix]

If you don't like the first 90 minutes of a movie, chances are that it won't perk up before the end and justify itself, so nobody can blame you for walking out.

The same with life.

Well chances are you are going to be old by that time, so you are going to want to go ahead and kill yourself anyway.

[ChickenDewd21]

;/ Man, yeh just got to realize that depression is totally ghey, bruh. Why sit around bein' all depressed when you can get some green & tang? Jebus, not to mention all the fine herb growing everywhurr. ;o

Well chances are you are going to be old by that time, so you are going to want to go ahead and kill yourself anyway.

What if the movie was only 90 minutes long though? You totally wouldn't have a choice, bruh. Screw the metaphors. Death is ghey, don't go there, bruh.

[hobolord]

zz my gf has depression
=S she tried to kill herself once lucky she didnt

[Bekk]

You can't blame anyone for your attempt to kill yourself. That's problem number one. You're in denial. You're denying any responsibility for your own actions and playing it off on depression. You just HAVE to have those pills. You're right, you do; but only because you tell yourself you need them. You would be surprised at how powerful the mind is over the body. If you allow yourself to be happy, you can very well be happy. But, over time, your mind has become addicted to those pills. Telling yourself you needed them. No one made you do anything, sir. You made the choice.

You're right, it was foolish to commit suicide, I'm glad you realize that. But one thing you still need to realize is that life isn't as bad as you make it out to be.

[Lick]

If you don't like the first 90 minutes of a movie, chances are that it won't perk up before the end and justify itself, so nobody can blame you for walking out.

The same with life.

You made my life with this post, lmao.




This is more than likely some pathetic grasp for attention that I don't take seriously on any level at all.

[Bekk]

Sure, I can hang out with these kids, if only these people were more civil. Let's get the facts straights - I don't like "hood" kids. They think their lives are so full of misery because they're from the ghetto? I tell you this, if their lives were so miserable, why don't they do anything to change it? Stop making yourselves miserables and MY life miserable and change yourself.

Damn, why does only bad things happen to me?

Take your own advice.

[sagaxxxx]

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Woah that reply was hawt yo! :O
@ the frowned one ,trial and error live and learn :3

[kait0s]

Writing imo can be a very good way to deal with depression. Some great authors wrote their best stuff depressed, sad and angry at someone or something.

Some people have different ways of coping with what theyre going thro. Just because hes going at it a bit different then you would, doesnt exactly make it wrong.

And if it does, then im sorry.

Im an idiot. My bad