
Originally Posted by
Paladuck
Dear Anonymous Benefactor,
Thank you so much for your donation of 2 books, one pack of highlighters and a pad of sticky notes. Your sincere and heartfelt donation will go a long way towards our education.
I have already put one of the books to good use. I ran out of toilet paper the other day, so I found that the smooth, high-quality paper of Catch 22 made an excellent way to wipe my behind. The pages of Joseph Heller's modern American classic fared quite well against my stool. Unfortunately, I am no longer in possession of the other book, Wuthering Heights, because I traded it to a classmate for half of a delicious Hostess Snack Cake.
The highlighters are an excellent gift as well. Despite the fact that they are non-toxic Sharpie Accents, and thus I cannot get high off of them (I tried for several hours), I have put them to good use. Used in conjunction with the pad of post-it notes, I created a flipbook of a stick figure dunking a basketball. The force of the slam dunk breaks the backboard, and then the falling glass shards impale the stickman. It's quite comical, I know.
Very truly yours,
A Grateful Student