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Thread: Jokez.

  1. #1
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    Default Jokez.

    Welcome, welcome, i herd you leikz to has a laugh eh?

    here iz a joke.

    A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

    He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

    "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

    To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

  2. #2
    ChimaeraOne's Cookie Reputation: 149
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    I wonder when you'll open a funny/useful topic

  3. #3
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    I wonder when you wil fvcking put that sigar away.

    Anyways
    Now here is a problem that finally has a formula for getting to the bottom of an age old problem.
    From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:

    What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

    Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

    If:
    A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

    Then:

    H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
    8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
    and
    K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
    11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

    But,

    A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
    1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

    And,

    B-U-L-L-S-*-*-T
    2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

    AND, look how far a** kissing will take you.

    A-*-*-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
    1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

    So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bulls**t and A** Kissing that will put you over the top.

  4. #4
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    Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella?


    Fo' drizzle.

  5. #5
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    A horse walked into a bar.
    The bartender said "Why such a long face?"
    The horse said "My daughter as cerebral palsy."
    The bartender gave him a drink and his apologies.

  6. #6
    Roxane's Roadkill Reputation: 87
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xente View Post
    A horse walked into a bar.
    The bartender said "Why such a long face?"
    The horse said "My daughter as cerebral palsy."
    The bartender gave him a drink and his apologies.
    lol I saw the video your sig is made of on youtube lol, I love it, surprised cat ftw~~ .... I haz no joke D: !...

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by DarkAztaroth View Post
    lol I saw the video your sig is made of on youtube lol, I love it, surprised cat ftw~~ .... I haz no joke D: !...
    better rep me then for cuteness

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