Soldiers Win!
http://teamfortress.com/post.php?id=3266
http://www.teamfortress.com/war/victory/
Soldiers are the winners!
And the update is live!
Yaaaaay!
The spoils!
Originally Posted by TF2
The 18th century was a time of rapid innovation; in the space of a single year, the two-storey building, the stage play, America, and the rocket launcher were all invented by the same man: Shakespearicles, the strongest writer who ever lived. Despite his powerful grasp of language and the ability to bench press 700 British pounds, several inventions eluded his iron grip—most tragically among them, stairs. For the next three hundred years, people who needed to get to the second floor used the only method available to them: shooting a rocket launcher at their feet. Yes, it was ridiculous, crippling, and awful, but what are you going to do? Not go to the second floor?
That’s where your bed is.
Luckily, in 1857, a young bearded inventor named President Abraham Lincoln stumbled upon the answer: stairs. Unluckily, he never grasped the full import of his own invention, and died attempting to rocket jump up the world’s first staircase in his laboratory at Ford’s Theater. Horrified by this tragedy, mankind agreed never to invent anything again, turning its many scientists and scholars to that most noble endeavor, astrology.
It would not be until 1921 when hotheaded Pisces Franklin D Roosevelt, languishing in a hospital after losing both of his legs in a rocket-jumping accident, stumbled upon Lincoln’s notes and perfected the modern staircase, freeing people from the tyranny of the second floor as Lincoln intended.
No advancement has been made in the escalation sciences since… until now. Introducing the Gunboats, secondary-slot boots that reduce rocket jump damage by a huge amount, rendering stairs forever useless. What is the science behind these miracles of technology? Magic, probably.
In conclusion, why are you still reading this? These things are live, in the game, right now. Go go go!Cp_gorge is a top secret alpine facility diabolically masquerading as something else entirely: in this case, a sinister weapons factory disguised as an innocent water purification plant, and a large-ish hole not big enough to meet the U.S. Geological Survey’s standards for a gorge, disguised as a by-the-book, nothing-to-see-here gorge.
Cp_gorge is an attack/defense map with only two control points, designed for quick rounds and fast, frantic play and fast, frantic play. It has more lateral game space than previous Control Point maps, allowing for more maneuvering options.
In the middle of the night, two bridges span a bottomless chasm of certain doom. (Said bridges span the chasm in the day also, but the gate is locked.) Secret bases concealed behind the unassuming facades of a factory and a farm built next door to each other fool absolutely no one in the area, who sometimes gather around to “watch all them mercenaries fight over that spy base.”
Doublecross is a fast-paced map that promises a lot of turnaround, with fighting focused on the main bridge and plenty of ways to fall off of it (or cause others to). The secondary train bridge below is perfect for sneakier classes, and provides a number of secret tunnels.Back when your father and grandfather played Team Fortress 2, being bad at the game was so shameful, they would rage-quit (a lengthy, painful process that involved pulling burning coal from the computer’s furnace). Now, thanks to modern-day updates like these, there’s finally a good excuse. You didn’t misread that sentence: losing is now a strategy.
This melee-slot pickaxe becomes more deadly the more damage you take, letting you move faster and hit harder the more wounds you endure. Get close enough to death, and you will become Death himself.
Note: Pretty much any time we reveal a new weapon, somebody on the forums claims they thought of it first. But this time, assuming it’s Tom Francis and jibberish, they are absolutely correct. As a special thanks to them for doing our work for us, they'll each be getting a unique version of the Equalizer of their very own.
Admit it: Every so often, you suspect you’re carrying your team. But other than rage-quitting, what can you do about it? How about motivating those lazy sons of *****es to put on their war face and fight?
Enter the morale-boosting Buff Banner. When this secondary-slot item is equipped, any damage you deal boosts a rage meter that, when full, lets you pull out your bugle and sound a call to war! For the next 14 seconds, every teammate who rallies round your flag will deal mini-crits.
