This made me laugh pretty hard Make sure you watch it all.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVL_-47sFv0

And you say not to help him but I don't see anyone else being generous enough to share 1 of their keys... Even though you could give someone one key, they get two keys, give one back to you and give the other one to someone else.. who gives one away to someone else and gives the second one to you.. etc etc.
I don't see why there's a shortage of keys... :\