I have done a little bit of programing in c++ but not sure if that is a good place to start, i was told by a friend that c++ would be useless to learn and go strait to java or flash. What code do you guys think that I should use?
For games, definitely C++. Flash is okay for web-based 2D games, and Java is okay, but almost every modern game engine is written with it, and it's a very good language to learn the low-level stuff besides (something Java doesn't really help much with).
If you're interested in C++, to start off, you just have to download an IDE, like so: http://www.cprogramming.com/code_blocks/. Since you've said you've already done a little, you may already have one, but Code::Blocks is a good one if you're looking for something new.
After that, you should try and progress through the tutorials on that website; they'll teach you all about the language. By the end of it, you should be able to make any sort of text-based game, and be ready to move towards 2D or 3D games.