I picked back up on my step work from rehab.

I have incredible issues talking to/reading people. I have a hard time speaking up in the AA meetings. Ive said zero words in 3 weeks at this particular AA meetinghouse. Going to a place where I know zero people, is already miles past my comfort zone.

I dont have a sponsor, and I dont really talk in AA I just listen. I may ask about it tomorrow. Ill see how it goes. Not so much an issue of lack of ballage, just an awkward feeling/inablity to talk[ing] about what is talked about in meetings.

So I am trying to make ammends with everyone, but Ive run into a issue. A girl I need to make ammends with and I didnt really have a positive experience. zero positive, ziclhe not any, horribly negative. Its was quite rough the entire time. ended with me saying im done, dont talk to me anymore, and her saying Never contact me again. But drunkenly I contacted her once about a month later, she never responded.Would this be one of those times "except when to do so would injure them or others". Do I keep her wish of not contacting her? What exactly do they mean by injure them?

Trying to figure out if this one is worth trying or if I need to just let it go, and leave her alone.

Debating on if I will ask help in AA tomorrow. I can deal with amending with the people, but involving people I dont know, IRL, doesnt really strike me as something Im willing to do unless I absolutely have to. Incredibly awkward for me. I cant speak in front of 20-60 people and keep my mind on track and be coherent.

Its gonna be rough doing these amends...like it may kill me(joke) but Im told I need to, so I wanted to start with the hardest/most confusing one to get it out of the way.

Not really sure what to say either... having to talk to someone about personal stuff, feelings blah blah AND apologize AND be willing to do anything in return.

So what Im looking for is; Did anyone hurt someone or have someone hurt them, then later you/them came back to make amends about the situation? Did trying to make amends do anything positive for you/them, or did it have a negative effect on you/them?

This is about them, not me. My intent has to create peace for them first, me secondly. If it will hurt them to create amends, but hurt me not to, I have to go with the second option.

I know I repeated myself like 10,000,000 times, but this whole step and process is awkward to me. I just bottle and deal. This whole expressing how you feel, what happened, amending is completely new to me. Incredibly nerve wracking to. But its something I have to do so Im not back to coke and shit so I'm gonna deal the best I can.