Changes

[FarmerM]

So, I will be a father in about two weeks which is scary as hell.
I will also be changing from my call center job to a work at home position.

Working at home, I will be able to help out with the baby but I am worried being at home so much will drive me insane.

Also, working overnight, I have a bit of down time meaning I can do pretty much whatever I want.
I could work on 3D modeling and sell those for a bit of extra cash. I could do online courses for some type of degree but due to my identity being stolen my credit has been destroyed and I doubt I could get any type of student loan.

I also don't feel any motivation/inspiration to do anything. I feel pretty much so empty at the moment.

The wife has decent credit and we will also be trying to buy a house in the next couple of months.

It's a quite a bit to process and I really don't know what to do to come out happy.

Any thoughts?

[woxoeoweo]

Baby is the gift from the God. When you see its little cute face, you will have motivation. You will be willing to do anything for him/her.
Be happy, cheer up, you can make it and get used to this changes.

[postrook]

i don't like kids or god but i hope u are happy and stuff

[MissyS]

Baby will definitely probably motivate you. But it will also help you to consider what you want out of life, look deep at that for a while.

It took me a lot of time (read I was 30 years old) before I figured that out).

Also about student loans: I had pretty shoddy credit and was $5k in debt, and I was able to get the $20k I needed to get my A.S. at a private school, split through subsidized and unsubsidized loans from the Gov. Avoid private loans, look into grants and gov' loans, you should be able to get the money you need to get yourself some extra education (if that's what you want).

[Z0MBiE]

unlucky m8 .

[LeDave]

Times like these don't last forever. Time will change things. At this moment, you should prepare to embrace the baby. Just remember, you're not the only one will have felt this way before. Good luck and may the force be with you.

Edit: Also if you feel like you're going to be homesick, call some of your buddies over to hang out with you. That will help keep you in good mood hopefully.

Edit: Also, are you religious? I wrote some stuff down that helped me through hard times.

"The Lord created us individually to create our own paths rather than to create us through a series of fate, determining our outcomes. He has done so because he knew he wouldn't have created you the way he did if you were created not strong enough to live the way he had imagined, through his own image. "

If you're not religious, I also wrote something else down.

"Nothing lasts forever, things will change through time. Just let fate carry you forward when you are lost, and eventually you'll find your place in time."

[Pok]

Baby is the gift from the God. When you see its little cute face, you will have motivation. You will be willing to do anything for him/her.
Be happy, cheer up, you can make it and get used to this changes.

This is something you should never say to anyone, ever. Babies are not gifts, they are a person and a huge life-changing responsibility. Bringing religion into the situation is selfish, especially when you don't know the religions of the parents. I work in medicine and people do not suddenly become selfless individuals willing to sacrifice anything for a sudden mewling infant, not even the mothers who usually have a such a strong initial biological imperative to do so. Even if people love their newborns, they might hate their infants, their toddlers, their children, their teens, or the adults that spawned from them, it is not a given that you're going to know what to do or that you will love this addition unconditionally. People have lived their entire lives hating their kids, and hating what it has forced them to abandon, and to them to do otherwise is work. Having a child is work, an incredible amount of work, especially when it is an infant. You may experience joy, pride, or satisfaction, but it isn't constant, and the rest is work, unpaid, unappreciated, and potentially unwanted work. Your life WILL change, and you may not enjoy the changes. You are adding someone to your social circle who you would have never added otherwise.

How this individual develops is in, at least part, on your ability to parent. You are going to shape a life, how you shape it depends on what you're willing to do.

You are in for a challenge, some find it rewarding, some find it soul-destroying, the only thing I can offer is a quote from someone who I can't recall said it.

"Days happen, if they are good days, or bad days, is for you to decide."

[postrook]

[$$$]

Not really, it's a bit presumptuous, but it's innocent in it's seasonal nature and it is in good-will.

so is what woxoeoweo said, except for the seasonal part

[postrook]

god is pretty seasonal. he exists when gays and trannies and not-white people need to be punished for being gay and trans and not white. also he exists at easter and christmas. lastly he most especially exists when yr not explaining how sexuality works to yr kids and then throwing them out when they have premarital sex. he does not exist when u are driving yr sports car past panhandlers, or when u are playing golf and when u come home to yr stately house in a gated community. :3

[Neil]

Vintage bae.

[$$$]

god is pretty seasonal. he exists when gays and trannies and not-white people need to be punished for being gay and trans and not white. also he exists at easter and christmas. lastly he most especially exists when yr not explaining how sexuality works to yr kids and then throwing them out when they have premarital sex. he does not exist when u are driving yr sports car past panhandlers, or when u are playing golf and when u come home to yr stately house in a gated community. :3

eloquently put

[Xenonight2]

This is something you should never say to anyone, ever. Babies are not gifts, they are a person and a huge life-changing responsibility. Bringing religion into the situation is selfish, especially when you don't know the religions of the parents. I work in medicine and people do not suddenly become selfless individuals willing to sacrifice anything for a sudden mewling infant, not even the mothers who usually have a such a strong initial biological imperative to do so. Even if people love their newborns, they might hate their infants, their toddlers, their children, their teens, or the adults that spawned from them, it is not a given that you're going to know what to do or that you will love this addition unconditionally. People have lived their entire lives hating their kids, and hating what it has forced them to abandon, and to them to do otherwise is work. Having a child is work, an incredible amount of work, especially when it is an infant. You may experience joy, pride, or satisfaction, but it isn't constant, and the rest is work, unpaid, unappreciated, and potentially unwanted work. Your life WILL change, and you may not enjoy the changes. You are adding someone to your social circle who you would have never added otherwise.

How this individual develops is in, at least part, on your ability to parent. You are going to shape a life, how you shape it depends on what you're willing to do.

You are in for a challenge, some find it rewarding, some find it soul-destroying, the only thing I can offer is a quote from someone who I can't recall said it.

"Days happen, if they are good days, or bad days, is for you to decide."

this

thisthisthishtishtisx10

I volunteer with kids in a domestic violence/sexual assault shelter. In one way or another, so many of these kids have been let down; from being abused and neglected and having to leave their friends at school, etc. They are not a gift. They are real people with real needs, and should not ever be taken for granted. Nor should they be seen as freeloaders or a weight to keep you down. They're human beings. They're as flesh and blood as you and anyone else, and they deserve the same dignity and respect any human being should get.

It's not about just what you want anymore, FarmerM. It's about what this kid wants, what your wife wants, what your family needs.

And remember: for children, love is spelled T.I.M.E.

[FarmerM]

I didn't realize that, Xeno.
Your insight to what comes borders on omniscience for I knew not of compromise after 5 years of marriage.

[Rebuzzal]

From what I hear, the first time you hold the baby is when things will change for you. First time you see the thing look at you, grab your finger, smile and yawn. Generally at that point it will hit you you are responsible for someone else, not just yourself. Up until that point is riddled with fear and hesitation.


But since you are asking, you will be alright. If you weren't worried, that would be a red flag.

[leonkingluvkungfu]

Having a child is a happy burden. You might have to pay more time on him/her, and you also will be surprise when he/she react. Becoming a father is not a easy thing, and you feel you have much press is a normal thing. But when everything comes, you can conquer it.