How do you deal with schoolground bullies?

[Bad Hamster]

If someone even tries to bully me, I'll just make sure he won't have the balls to bully anyone again :3

[queenvoo]

all good advice and i like Ronin's advice also, it osunds very strategic.

the problem is that we are required to socialise as part of our daily routine so this is when it happens. during classes I can bury myself in studies, but this is a kind of college dorm environment so I cannot escape their company.

the other thing i find difficult is that im actually quite a violent person. so if someone bugs me i just keep quiet, but i really wwant to torture them to death or hit them in the head repeatedly with a hammer and kill them. i can't do that can i? how can i resist this?! some others of us here also seem a bit violent like me?

[Oisterman]

Punch their face. You're a girl, they won't hit you back. And if they do they'll probably get beaten up by a mob.

[nick]

Punch them right in the butthole.

.emptyquote.

[hian]

all good advice and i like Ronin's advice also, it osunds very strategic.

the problem is that we are required to socialise as part of our daily routine so this is when it happens. during classes I can bury myself in studies, but this is a kind of college dorm environment so I cannot escape their company.

the other thing i find difficult is that im actually quite a violent person. so if someone bugs me i just keep quiet, but i really wwant to torture them to death or hit them in the head repeatedly with a hammer and kill them. i can't do that can i? how can i resist this?! some others of us here also seem a bit violent like me?

I was systematically bullied throughout elementary school by a certain crowd of kids from a different class and the year above.
After continual failure on part of parent and teachers, the only option left to me was violence/threat of violence - this landed me the reputation of being a "psycho" (to the point that when I entered high school, and we had a reunion, even a kid that I never had any issues with, came up to me and mused that as a kid, he'd sometimes worried I had him in my "black book", which was apparently a rumored object I wrote the names of people I was going to beat up in).
At that point, all explicit bullying stopped, although I was mostly ignored socially by a lot of people as a result.

That being said, social exclusion of people I didn't like to begin with, and the fact that I had a close-knit group of friends, meant that, as far as I was concerned, my life took a turn for the better and I had won, so to speak.

That being said, I don't advocate the use of violence to solve bullying. It might, but it also might not, and it can land you in serious problems. The latter is especially true in today's society which is much stricter when it comes to physical violence than it was almost 20 years ago, when I started primary school.

Sometimes, being honest and upfront can be the best solution - especially if these guys don't actually believe themselves that they are in fact bullying you (like if they just suck as socializing with girls).

Being assertive and telling them something like "Hey listen up! You're acting like complete (insert appropriate word here, or just go for "shitheads") and it's making me uncomfortable. I wanna get along, and I think you guys are alright, but it just doesn't jive with me when you talk to me like that, so cut it out."

This essentially tells them that you're secure enough to assert your own preferences, in a "non-girly way" (I know, it's sexist, but boys in that age tend to have stupid ideas about what sort of communication is worth listening to) yet that you're not unreasonable.
In a way, I think the best way a girl can deal with guys is by responding with "masculinity" to a certain extent, because again, many young guys really only respond to that.
That being said, if they're the same kind of un-empathetic douchebags that used to bully people when I was young, there is probably nothing you can say to change them - those kind of people bully because they take pleasure in asserting themselves and making other people squirm.
Those kind of people only respect consequences, and the only one capable of making consequences harsh enough for them to respect, is probably you.

At that level, giving them some verbal abuse (see: diss) back, could work. If they start talking about your body, then talk about their bodies. Guys are insecure too. If they get the fact that whenever they comment on you, they'll get a virgin joke, or snappy derogatory comment on their disappointing body mass, it will come a point where they'll either stop, or they'll blow up, and that's when you've got them.
A guy being an ass, and then blowing up on a girl when she responds, in a school-setting is probably going to feel the social ramifications of that pretty fast, both from teachers, peers and fellow students.

I don't think fighting them physically would have much in it for you - not only because of retrograde and stupid traditional gender-roles which will effect the way people view you if you end up fighting, and not just because of repercussions from the school, but because if you end up fighting ("like a girl"), this will just add to their enjoyment, and they'll keep on pushing you in the future because they want you to do it again.

So, we're back to asserting yourself verbally. Tell them how you you feel and tell them to stop, as strongly as you can OR find a way to reciprocate their disses with your own.

[LuLuNoir]

Just tell them how you feel. Be straight and precise. Don't let anyone assume that just because you're laughing does not mean you are not offended.

It's a lot easier to say "Hey you guys! Shut up about that nastiness. Bro! I'm a chick yah know." LOL

But in the end what you do is up to you. Just take it easy and be honest with yourself and them.

[TreyTrey12]

Because you aren't speaking up about how you feel about what's being said and done only condones their behavior. Closed mouths do not get fed.

[justin001]

i don't know i've never been bullied before. but i think you just have to ignore those people. and remember not to stoop down into their level.

[hian]

and remember not to stoop down into their level.

I get what people mean when they say this, but there is still one thing I don't like when people say it -

It implies that bullying innocent people that never did you any harm, and bullying a
bully that's been a complete douchebag to you and other innocent people beforehand is morally equivalent, when the two are clearly different.

Imagine for a second that someone attacks you and punches you in the face - would you call it "stooping to the level of the guy attacking you" if you punch back? Most people wouldn't, so I'm not sure why people think that logic applies to bullying and harassment.

Not saying this to pick on your post, but just to make an example out of the general sentiment of "don't stoop to that level"-kind of logic.

[Klaime]

I was a bit tubby in middleschool so I was bullied all the time about it from a group of kids. I had enough and I fought back lol. Was never bullied again. Tubster > Skinny white kid.

[hian]

Probably not a good idea to ask advice from internet bullies.

Because everyone on this forum/prone to answer this thread are internet bullies?

And even if they were, assuming that's the kind of people OP wants answers from is a stretch.

In that case, I suppose it's also mean to call a ****** a ******, a murderer a murderer, and a dentist a dentist.

It is if you're going to call people you don't know, without evidence, rapists and murderers.

[Ronin]

Probably not a good idea to ask advice from internet bullies.

I would try to give advice, but I'm not emotionally vacant right now. I'm sorry.

Nice ad hominem.

I mean it's not as if there are a lot of meaningfull discussions going on nowdays, but still...
I think it was Taft who made up that rule about putting a letter into the drawer for a day. Anyways, I for my part am not going to hold it against you, thanks to your sentence no 2. Just take care, ok?

[TuxedoSam]

It is if you're going to call people you don't know, without evidence, rapists and murderers.

Did I say "rapists and murderers that lack evidence of being a ****** and murderer are rapists and murderers?" No, I didn't.

[$$$]

Did I say "rapists and murderers that lack evidence of being a ****** and murderer are rapists and murderers?" No, I didn't.

could you post some evidence of oister and kamilla being bullies pls

[TuxedoSam]

could you post some evidence of oister and kamilla being bullies pls

No .

[$$$]

oh ok. maybe you shouldn't go around accusing people of being bullies. it's not very nice

[TuxedoSam]

In that case, I suppose it's also not very nice to call a ****** a ******, a murderer a murderer, and a dentist a dentist.

[$$$]

maybe you shouldn't go around accusing people of being bullies without any evidence. it's not very nice.

[Z0MBiE]

déjà vu...

[nick]

itt tuxedo compares poking a bit of fun at someone on the internet to ****** and or murdering someone

[Kamilla]

0 to 100 real quick

[Ronin]

itt tuxedo compares poking a bit of fun at someone on the internet to ****** and or murdering someone

In this post ultraviolence compares ****** and murdering to poking fun at someone on the internet and finds they don't compare. All the while this poster doesn't seem to have gathered the difference between comparing two things and pointing out a principle. One can only compare, by attributing weight, which never happened. The quote displays an out of context rearangement of the original meanining and arguably a tryhard lowblow.

[nick]

imo using "shocking" words like murder and **** over and over in the exact same way like five times very deliberately in itself implies a comparison, even if that person never otherwise openly made a comparison per se :3

[TuxedoSam]

TheSkald and I were playing tag.

[TuxedoSam]

Seriously, either your reading comprehension and ability to understand logical conclusions is so retro-grade that it mirrors that of Lucy, or you're just being difficult on purpose.

You explicitly called the people responding to this thread (or on this forum depending on how wide you meant it to be taken) bullies, and then got called out for it, by a person saying that you were being "mean".
Your retort was essentially "it isn't mean if it's true", hence why it isn't mean to call a murderer a murderer.
But, as anyone who's not a complete ****** can tell, there is nothing to suggest the people in this thread are bullies, thus calling them bullies is an ad hominem (and thus "mean").

Point in case,


So, in fact, that was exactly what you were saying, and now you're directly contradicting yourself.

If you're incapable of forming coherent thoughts, or being honest, maybe you should take some time off from "attempting" to do so.

And, no, non of the above is bullying, nor ad hominems - as the first part is a conclusion to an argument in response to a tool, and the last sentence is an advice framed by the conditional "if".

Have a nice day.

You seem really invested in this.