good on you for ending the relationship and not letting it drag on. i'm proud of you too!
as for the whole feeling rejected and unwanted thing, i kinda understand how that feels-ish, but i don't think i've had it as bad as you.
last relationship had this period (only 3 months; nothing compared to what you've been through) of staleness, where he was really off. he told me i wasn't the reason, so i kept trying to make things work, kept trying to make him happy. he started rejecting whatever little gestures i did, and obviously, it hurt, but i kept trying to make him happy. i know, i'm stupid, but to be fair, he explicitly told me that i wasn't the reason for his unhappiness. he broke up with me, but i didn't ask for a reason. i figured the kid would need his own time to fix whatever he was going through, and i accepted the fact that i couldn't help him out.
ended up finding out later that he broke up with me because he hated the feeling he'd get everytime he told someone he was dating a brown girl (kid was azn).
i felt so unwanted after that. there was this little period where i just hated how i looked. i still sorta hate how i look, but i don't feel as shitty as i did before. i kinda accepted the fact that most people don't dig brown chicks.
idk what i was trying to say.
ok, right. the whole feeling unwanted thing happens once in a while these days, usually when someone comments on the fact that i've been single for a rly long time.
i guess just picking up new hobbies will keep you busy, and it'll prevent your mind from wandering around, which is good! gaming works for me, so does playing soccer, and a bunch of other stuff that requires concentration. heck, trying things out of your comfort zone might be even better!
gl, and i hope everything only ends up getting better for you!
EDIT: you needed cheering up! silly me! this always makes me forget all of my problems. i wish i could dance like him <3
