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Thread: Cursed Communion

  1. #1
    Marineking's Minion Reputation: 35
    Saint's Avatar
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    Default Cursed Communion

    There is a place
    Deep in the dark
    Abyssal woods
    Where creatures
    Gather to
    Complete dark
    Chores for the
    Reverend Mother.

    Demonic dance
    And cursed
    Communion
    All in the name
    Of a dark goddess
    And her bedevilled
    Satisfaction.


    This is for a fantasy story I want to write.

  2. #2
    Shadowsworn's Sandwich Reputation: 18
    TheSinter's Avatar
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    no offence saint, but im tired of you making random threads with poetry in it, but i do think it would be a good idea to make one official poetry thread were you and others can post there favorites.

  3. #3
    Banned Reputation: 134
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    Saints never made a random thread with poetry in it before.. has he? If so I missed it.

  4. #4
    Marineking's Minion Reputation: 35
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    Quote Originally Posted by hobosexual View Post
    Saints never made a random thread with poetry in it before.. has he? If so I missed it.
    I've made one. before. Sinter is just a little butt hurt over something.

    Edit: Oh and stay on topic would you? I want crit.

  5. #5
    OnRPG Elite Member! Reputation: 152
    Jakuza's Avatar
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    Saint is using words I never even heard of yet.


    Bedevilled
    Communion


    god.


    But, I still liked it.

  6. #6
    Shadowsworn's Sandwich Reputation: 22
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    nice...continue your fantasy story but dont make any EMO lines. YOu know what im saying...

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by BooNeZ View Post
    nice...continue your fantasy story but dont make any EMO lines. YOu know what im saying...
    its all about emo

  8. #8
    春光乍泄 Reputation: 193
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    There is a place
    Deep in the dark
    Abyssal woods
    Where creatures
    Gather to
    Complete dark
    Chores for the
    Reverend Mother.
    To be honest, that part sounded like a sentance which you cut up. o_O

  9. #9
    Wand of !!!!!!11!!! Power Reputation: 11
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    Jakuza, a communion is a meeting with a god, deity, or supernatural power. I believe religions do this all the time to pray and stuff.
    The word communion reminds me of the short story "Young Goodman Brown" which I read a few years ago. >_> Anyways, is this a poem as a prelude to the story or is the whole story going to be poetry? If this is how the whole storie's going to be, I agree with raiyne that it just sounds like you wrote a sentence and pressed the "enter" key every two words. Maybe if you say it in a spooky voice, it sounds cool, but then again, everything sounds cool in a spooky voice.

    EDIT: Yes, it sounds like something under the genre: "Emo". I prefer happy stories. Ice cream cones and falling corn please. And candy.

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