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Thread: M&M Duels

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    Default M&M Duels

    Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

    Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

    I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

    Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

    When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

    This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

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    but, who will become the victor between the peanut wars?

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheRequiem View Post
    but, who will become the victor between the peanut wars?
    Well, the peanut M&M's have a very hard interior. Even under the alligator-like crushing force of my two fingers, I cannot break them. So I consider them the mentally challenged of the M&M species.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Athias View Post
    Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

    Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

    I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

    Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

    When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

    This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

    Have you tried cross species Skittles vs M&M wars?



    I just usually divide them in to tribes by color and nominate one M&M as the chief of the tribe. They then hold Tribunal Wars amongst themselves, sacrificing the losers to me ;]



    Who knew candy was so much fun to play with?

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    I did not know candy was fun to play it, I usually eat it! D=

    I want some M&M's now...DAMN YOU ATHIAS! *eats a Hershey bar* DAMN YOU TO HELL! *eats another*







    *stroke*

















    *dead*

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    Quote Originally Posted by Athias View Post
    Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

    Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

    I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

    Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

    When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

    This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.
    Excuse my use of 4Chan Terminology, but this was made of "epic lulz".

    Seriously. This made my night.

    @Deaths_Legion, *Kiss of Life*

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    This is pure unadulterated epicness on a chocolate stick, you sir, have made my night

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    That was just pure awesome.

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    However awesome it may be, I feel saddened cause I do this too. It saddens me because I want a free 1/2 pound bag of M&M's T_T

    Anyways, updates on the epic 100 spartam&m's plz.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Associated View Post
    However awesome it may be, I feel saddened cause I do this too. It saddens me because I want a free 1/2 pound bag of M&M's T_T

    Anyways, updates on the epic 100 spartam&m's plz.


    Who doesn't want a free half pound bag of MnM's?

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