Help. (Typical relationship problem thread.)

[Xynh]

Before we start, I just want to say;
I know this is a gaming forum, and I know the average user is of the early teenage years, but I'm directing this to the more mature audience in OnRPG. I wanted to release some stress some how, and I guess I can tell you guys. I dunno if this will make me feel any better, but **** it.

Oh and I know "there are more fishes in the sea", and all that, so please..

Keep this in mind:
Me - Me.
Friend - A friend.
Kelly - My (ex)girlfriend.
Van - My good friend.
Jeremy - Kelly's ex-boyfriend; also Van's current boyfriend.

Anyways, I'll just show you a convo about my current situation:
Me (11:27:02 PM): can you keep a major secret?
[COLOR="#0000ff"]Friend (11:27:12 PM): another one?[/COLO

[mysteryguy]

i dont wanna read that much. summarize plz?

if this is a typical relationship stuff, then just do what a typical person would do.

[Xynh]

i dont wanna read that much. summarize plz?

if this is a typical relationship stuff, then just do what a typical person would do.

I don't want people who are lazy to read, to give me advice.
Thanks though.

[daroth]

is van a guy?

[Xynh]

Van is a female.
And I'm straight.

[Deselin]

No offense, but if you broke up with her because she had feelings for another guy, then I'd say you truly don't love her. The same thing happened to my friend about a month ago, but he didn't give up on her and now he's trying to win her back with everything he can.

Buuut...I guess I can give you some basic advice. Why don't you like Jeremy? Is it because of how he dated Kelly, and she still has feeling for him, or another reason? I need to know that before I can evaluate things completely.

Also, do you want Van to be more than a friend, or do you just see her as a friend?

[Mr. First Name Basis]

Date Van and Let Kelly and Jeremy get back together. Just to complicate the matter.

But seriously, I have no idea. If a girl has feelings for another guy then there's no point in staying around in my opinion. I've been in that situation and if she starts to gain more feelings for that guy then your going to be skrewed in the end anyways.

[Cereal&Milk]

Date Van and Let Kelly and Jeremy get back together. Just to complicate the matter.

But seriously, I have no idea. If a girl has feelings for another guy then there's no point in staying around in my opinion. I've been in that situation and if she starts to gain more feelings for that guy then your going to be skrewed in the end anyways.

Quoted for a mass amount of truth.

You could also beat Jeremy's ass, **** Kelly over, and set Van straight.

But from what I'm reading, it seems like you like Kelly. So that would be a real big screw up.

[Fuxey]

date em all...

[Deimos]

these IM convos are so annoying and confusing

date em all...

seems like everyone mentioned there has already dated everyone else.


Advice? **** knows.

id say: steer clear of that whole love triangle and just start out new with some people who arent already friends ex's brothers sisters or whatever.

[Deimos]

thats the whole ****ing irony!!! would it even make a difference if xyhn tells the other part about this and that? seems like me that all thats going to be said already have been said.

or maybe im just lost...

no im lost too, the IM convos dont help really explain anything either.

Xynh, goodluck sorting that out but it kinda seems like you are overcomplicating things by not being definite about anything. you sound so indecisive, its all "i dunno's" and "im not sure". my experience says, just stand back and let these people sort it out for themselves. sometimes people dont like it if you barge in with your "i know whats best for you" attitude. i know thats not what you are trying to sound like but some people interpret it that way.

[Sparta]

You're doing this all through msn...? You're gonna tell her over msn...Do you guys talk much in person? =/

[Oisterman]

As long as his girlfriend isn't ****ing HIM over, I don't see the problem.

If someones in a relationship, but still "has feelings" for another, the relationship isn't real enough to last anyway.

That kid needs to ****ing THINK about his situation, and get over himself.

**** teen drama, this is why I try to find girls I can stick with.

[Attila]

These kinds of problems can be solved using one question: Who do you want to make happy?

Now, if you value your friendship with Van you'll tell her what awaits her. She'll thank you, or she should thank you. So, you're happy, she's happy.
The only problem with this one is that Jeremy will probably be angry at you so will Kelly. But you see, if you don't tell anyone anything then Van will not be happy when he dumps her, you will loose Kelly to Jeremy, and Jeremy will prevail, and you'll feel like crap.

What I do when I'm in situations like these is that I try to make happy as many people as possible. It's kind of even in this problem so I don't really know which way you should turn. It all depends how much you love Kelly, and how much you respect Van as a friend. When you know the answer to this, you'll figure out the problem. Just take a pen and paper and start marking down on what Kelly did for you, how she made you feel, and then same for Van.

I also think that this problem with Kelly can be avoided if you tell Van about those 2 and nobody else knows. You tell Van, she breaks up with Jeremy for some reason, you stay with Kelly and try to mold her feelings toward you, and then you only have one person unhappy, which would be Jeremy. He's a douche that doesn't know what he wants.
Quote of the day: You can't love anyone until you understand that you can't love everyone.

If you want any more help around these kind of problems IM me at Pojskic (AIM, Yahoo, and MSN all the same)

[Neil]

You're doing this all through msn...? You're gonna tell her over msn...Do you guys talk much in person? =/

Nothing wrong with that Sparta!

It's all me and Lauren ever do, and we're ok.

Right?

[Raiyne]

Talking in person makes it so much more sincere... well thats what I think.

[Norrin Radd]

A good piece of advice would be; don't be an ass, like some people have suggested.

I am not gonna fill you up with "I can relate.", because no matter how similar a situation is, every problem creates unique upset or trouble for any given person. However, the way I see it, it sucks that she had feelings for another guy, but if they were nothing that were going to break you guys up, cause her to cheat or have any other negative vicarious effects on your relationship, it wasn't worth breaking up with her. I've had to deal with my girl having a superficial crush on another guy, visually, but it wasn't ever any kind of threat, cos she's smart enough to know that it's not worth what it'd cause between us, and I'm smart enough to know that anger aside, I know she knows that.

Does this girl have love feelings? Can she not stop thinking about the guy, or is this just "Wow, he's hot."?

Personally? I don't look at other chicks, I'm happy with my girl, but I don't know who she looks at or what she thinks of them. I know she is susceptible to finding people attractive, and as a guy with pride, it does make you a little territorial wondering what words are being exchanged when you're not around, even harmlessly. The answer is to just vent it out, trust her if you love her and you trust that she isn't a sneak or a cheater, and move on.

Fighting always feels like a great way to vent. I've felt like punching multiple guys faces in, but unless they are harming or advancing unfairly and uninvited, it's really nothing you can do, and it's all to easy to hate the guy she has a crush on even though he did NOTHING, instead of picking it out with the girl who HAS the crush. Simply because she's the one you love.

Relationships are about trust and respect, consideration and sensitivity just as much as pure love. She needs to go to sleep every night knowing that she is your Queen Bee. That she is your alpha lioness, that no other challengers come close in ANY way, and if you do not lay your head down knowing that you're the main wolf, then there're issues. The best suggestion is probably to move on.