"Name's Johnny Clapton, Male, single, 30 years of age, Caucasian, airboat operator. For nearly 25 years, the people here in Louisiana have recognized me as Honey Island Clapton. I've hunted the biggest flathead catfish to ever swim this here swamp, and killed the biggest gators to ever give me a second glance. When I was 5, around about the time I gots my nick, I'd gotten lost in the swamp. I'd been the only child to return home safely after 13 days of bein' dead lost in a swamp. I'm a hero round these parts. Some could even say a state treasure."
Yeah, sucks I know, but I was bored and decided to BS something.
