what have I found?

[Marineking]

I think the writer has decent potential. She seems to grasp the basics of things, she just has to refine them, work on her grammar, and learn to make it more interesting. As it stands, though, I wouldn't rush out to buy the novel.

[Deselin]

I think the writer has decent potential. She seems to grasp the basics of things, she just has to refine them, work on her grammar, and learn to make it more interesting. As it stands, though, I wouldn't rush out to buy the novel.

Agreed.

Also, they need to learn some sentence structure. I saw a lot of repeating of the same words, and some of them were oddly placed as well. And it would really help if they would have built tension at some points instead of coming right out and saying things.

Pretty good overall, though.

i don't know any 15 year olds who could write anything like that...
it would cut off at the good part

*cough*Eragon*cough*

[Necronax]

Agreed.

Also, they need to learn some sentence structure. I saw a lot of repeating of the same words, and some of them were oddly placed as well. And it would really help if they would have built tension at some points instead of coming right out and saying things.

Pretty good overall, though.




*cough*Eragon*cough*

yah I caught the repeated wording a little annoying after the use of the same word 30 times over