Sign of the End-Times: AR Games + Dating Apps


We are a culture of convenience, and everyday, the world of gaming and dating both change, swirling deeper and deeper down into the maw of madness. As I stood on the beach this morning, catching my fourth Charmander, a realization hit me: We are approaching the End-Times. We’ve gone past where Ghostbusters II predicted by a bit, and I realize that Pokémon Go is now the herald of the Apocalypse. One of the Four Horsemen. It is Famine, creating a thirstiness, a hunger for Pokémon that can never truly be quenched. But that’s not all. We also have apps like Tinder, and Bumble, or Grindr, whatever floats your boat. What happens when a company gets wise to what’s trending and merges them together?

Pokemon Go Launch Review

Think about it: You have an AR game and you go on dates with people. Going on several dates, tracked by your GPS and your activity on the app, will boost your account level. How do you gain stats? You are rated by your peers, former dates, et cetera of course! In a tumblr-esque environment, you will be judged and rated, and that determines how powerful your character is. Sure, you get more experience for “new” dates, but the comfortable familiarity of dating the same person/people on the app will no doubt get you better ratings since they no doubt like you more. Dates taken to “new” locations will gain more exp, so it’s going to help the economy too. And best of all, dates you acquire through this app will surely play Pokémon Go with you! With trading and battling coming, this will be a must-have app for 2016.  I can see it. Society slowly crumbles under the weight of AR Dating. It’s the closest thing we can get right now to Virtual Reality dating, where men and women date anime characters; that’s coming, fear not. It will be the Fourth Horseman, the Waifu Death. She will come on a white horse, bearing the last vestiges of our society on her shoulders.

This will be the Killer App of 2016. It will pair neatly with Pokémon Go, save our economy, while simultaneously destroying us all.


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