It’s that time of the year! Summer Olympics 2016 in Rio! Now, I haven’t really followed them, except the 1996 Olympics. As a wrestling fan, professional and otherwise, finding that the American Kurt Angle won the gold for America with a broken freakin’ neck? That’s heroics right there. That’s the embodiment of American Ideals. I was so proud! Then he joined the WWE! Even happier. I don’t need to watch the Olympics again, because no moment will top that. However, in this day and age, everything you need to know from the Olympics can be gained from playing MMOs, instead of watching TV. Why bother when you can learn what I did?
Let’s get started! The most important thing I learned are about the sports themselves. There are so many amazing summer sports, and they’re all so intense and different from each other. You have the hard-hitting action of Rugby, the ferocious competition of Boxing, the non-stop insanity of Lucioball, the pure strength of body and will that goes into Weightlifting. Why would I want to win gold, silver or bronze medals, when I can get skins?! I mean, seriously? The Olympics only has three awards for first second and third; Lucioball and Overwatch are boasting 100+ cosmetic items to wear in the virtual world.
I also gained a great deal of knowledge about who exactly is participating in the Olympics. There are six nations competing in the Olympics: The United States, Germany, France, the United Kingdom, Russia, and Pirates. Fractured Space gave me a valuable lesson in Rio 2016! I thought there were way more competing than that. I think the addition of Pirates to the Olympics will make the aquatic and combat sports a trifle unfair. They come equipped with skillsets that frankly, regular athletes cannot possibly compete with. Instead of Vuvuzela’s this year we have “Vote for Pedro!” [Yeah, I see you Firaxis. I see what you did with Civ 6 last week. You can’t fool me!]
The most important thing I learned was exactly how the Olympic arena looks and works. According to Hirez and Smite, the Olympics take place in a round coliseum that has an evening arena in the center. There’s a race track around that, and portals that bring the eventers from a multi-dimensional locker room that defies both time and space. Brutal contests occur there, and I cannot count the number of broken bones that are going to pile up from the Olympics this year! Gambling is also rampant, more than ever before thanks to winning something called “Gems” from this arena. I would be here all day if I went on and on.
But I DO know that the Rocket League did not give in to peer pressure! Their events are the same as always, they aren’t taking place in Rio, you aren’t going to see a ton of insane flag-toting events! Just lots of the same stuff as always! Fast cars, big balls, and lots of excitement! I hope you guys all enjoy the Olympics this year, however and wherever you’re doing them at!