Guild Wars 2: Rytlock’s Critter Rampage

By Shannon Doyle (Leliah), OnRPG MMO Addict

They took his treasure and his pride…then we went back to the 80s to get it back.


April has been the month that just keeps giving this year for Guild Wars 2 fans. First we were treated to the in-game mini game that is the Super Adventure Box and now we’ve been given an awesome 2D sidescroller called Rytlock’s Critter Rampage. Though we didn’t know it at the time, we got the first hint of it earlier this month in the commercial for the Super Adventure Box. You can see the kid playing it and see the box on the table at the :19 mark just before Rytlock knocks all the kitten stuff off to make space for the SAB.


So, after giving the game a go three…or…twenty times I finally stopped, just moments before I was about to launch my keyboard through my monitor. This thing is hard! And I was on easy mode. It brought me back to my childhood playing frustrated as I repeat a level for the eighth time that hour. And you know what? It was awesome. It has been given the label of “Nintendo Hard,” something I fully back. And you know, that makes me want to go back and try it again.

Of course, as with everything that comes out there are bound to be complaints. And this has been no exception. I suspect these people are either too young to appreciate the nostalgia or they’re the sort to complain about everything, just because they can. There have been very few complaints on the forums about this though, so that was quite refreshing. Though I will admit there is one small complaint I have. Rytlock Brimstone is the owner of the kick ass sword Sohothin. It would have been awesome to see in it the game. Maybe when they make the sequel.


It’s a pretty basic game. Run, Jump, Kick. Like all games from that era it has secret treasures, and four different endings depending on how you perform. In easy mode there is only one ending. The end. But if you’re brave enough to try Rytlock mode suddenly you have three alternate endings. If you find all 10 secret treasures you get a congratulation from Rytlock himself wearing his cool orange shades. Get less and you’ll make Rytlock cry. You wouldn’t want to make him cry would you? And finally, if you’re insane enough to do it, play through the whole thing without saving. I’ll leave that little gem to the people who actually do it. Though I’m sure it wouldn’t take much searching to find out what you get at the end online, somewhere.

Sad Rytlock

I strongly suggest everyone gives this baby a try. You may hate it, you may swear at your computer for an hour as you struggle through it. But you will love it. It doesn’t matter if you’re a fan of Guild Wars 2 or not. Try it. You might regret it. But you’ll thank me for it later.

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  • poosticks

    This game is gayer than me. And I suck allot of cock